How to Maintain Your Cool When What You Really Want to Do is Smack Your Husband

How to Have More Patience with your Spouse

I am sure we have all been there. There are times when you feel like you have an extra child and the grown one is getting on the very tiniest last thread of a nerve you have left. And the worst part is he should know better and be helping you. Instead though, he chooses to whine louder and make bigger messes than the kids could ever dream of making.

I have a handful of coping mechanisms for such occasions. And thought it would be nice to share them with you. Perhaps it will save some unsuspecting husband out there from getting a grilled cheese sandwich upside the head, or a glass of milk in the lap.

Generally I start off taking a deep breath and counting to ten. Thats what I was always told to do when I was young. This is of course a complete waste of time most of the time. It tends to do nothing for me. At least not where the husband is concerned. With the kids maybe, since they don't know any better yet. But not so much with him. But it does give me a few seconds to get my thoughts straight. Long enough to remind me that violence isn't the answer, and that young children absorb everything they see.

When that doesn't work, which it invariably won't, I calmly tell him that it would be wonderful if he would stop adding to the chaos, and possibly even give me a hand. This isn't going to work either. I can almost promise you that. But, hey, its worth a shot. Again, this is all about setting a good example for the children.

Usually I then move onto thinking about why I married him in the first place. Typically this will soften your heart a bit, and buy him some more time. Try to think of all of those wonderful little qualities you used to find so endearing. The very ones that are now likely making you want to hurl the dirty diaper he just refused to change at his head. You know, the charming smile, the ability to laugh in the face of adversity (thats you now, by the way), and the way he cracks jokes to try to make you laugh, even though now instead of making you smile, it makes you angrier. Keep in mind, men tend to be fairly simple. They go back to what works, not realizing that those enchanting little qualities become annoying with the addition of seeing them 24/7 and children.