Mother May I

As a child, whenever I asked my mother "Can I..." do something, she would say "You can if you are able." It must have taken me a long time to learn the difference between the words "can" and "may" because she had to repeat it so often. To this day I have never said, "Mother may I..." except when playing a game of the same name. Try as I might to remember to say, "Mother may I..." to my mother, it is always, "Mom, can I get you anything else before I leave?". She often said she wanted her children to call her "mother", but none of us did. She is 89 now, and we still refer to her as "mommy" and call her "mom". Sadly she is in the later stages of Alzheimer's disease and does not seem to notice.

In the United States the second Sunday in the month of May is designated as a day to honor our mothers. Retailers and advertisers bombard us with reminders of the event which stirs up memories of our mothers. Not everyone has had a Hallmark type relationship with their mothers, so Mothers Day memories are not always a good thing. Ironically the original concept of Mothers Day was to unite women interested in disarmament and a call for peace. Today it is all about showing our mothers appreciation.

People will say, "but she's your mother" or "you only have one mother" if a person chooses not to send the mom who verbally or physically abused her a big bouquet of flowers and gushy sentimental greeting cards. We must honor our mothers, no matter what. That is fine if ones mother was a saint, like mine, but bearing a child does not a mother make. Sometimes it is hard to find kind words to say about a mother that routinely beat you as a child, sometimes harshly enough to break an arm or leg. Mothers desert children. They leave them in the care of boyfriends who sexually abuse them. Some neglect them which is often the worst form of abuse.