Getting Around is Not Easy
I have been confined to my house for around six years now. If I was able to leave the house I can't say that I would want to. I'm not so confined that I can't physically leave the house because anytime I wish I can walk out the door. I am not a prisoner in the way most people perceive it to be. There are no court orders holding me here, I don't have one of those electronic tracking ankle bracelets. I don't have a husband who is keeping me locked up; I just can't bear to go out. I'm a closet agoraphobic.Every morning five times a week, at precisely 7:30 I leave the house and return safely most days no later than 7:45. Exactly half an hour later at 8:00 I once again leave the house and return at 8:20. Two down, one to go; at 2:17 I exit the house and arrive home at 2:35. I'm done for the day. Sounds like a bus schedule doesn't it? In reality that is what it is. I drop my daughter off at school, then my son. That leaves me with one last trip to pick up my daughter later in the day; my son walks home in the afternoons. This is a routine for me every day and it takes a lot of gearing up to accomplish those three trips five times a week. Some days no matter how much I've mentally prepared myself to leave the house it's extremely hard and I just have to force myself to do it.
On days that require me to leave the house to run errands I start feeling the panic as soon as I'm out of bed. Normally I don't have a lot of errands. All my banking and financial responsibilities are taken care of right over the internet so there's no need to drop off bill payments and such. Pretty much my errands consist of grocery shopping, running the kids around and maybe making a deposit at the bank; once in a while I have to run by the pet store or do some other odd ball chore. It takes me longer on those days to actually make it out the door, often times I don't end up running my errands until the very last minute.
- Agoraphobia is the fear of being embarrassed for having irrational fears.
- Some people become recluses if they are housebound for too long.
- Agoraphobia can lead to many other fears.
Comments
sg43
(Guest)
(Guest)
01/22/2010
A great article and great insight into a condition I knew very little about. It sounds a lot like me, although I DO leave the house... I've not been diagnosed but think I suffer from severe social anxiety and probably depression. I had to take a medication to have an MRI once, due to claustrophobia, and noticed that my anxiety seemed to disappear, so my primary care doc gave me a script for it and I take it when I know I am going to be in a situation that might cause me stress.
I used to be afraid of "meds," but my neurologist whom I see for migraine told me that if we are capable of correcting an imbalance by the use of a chemical, then why shouldn't we? We wear corrective lenses or orthopedic shoes, we take meds to balance our blood pressure or cholesterol, balancing our brainwaves should not be any different. Looking at it that way, I couldn't agree more. Too much of life passed me by not to!
I wish you the best in overcoming/coping with your illness:)
Robin Johnson (guest)
(Guest)
(Guest)
11/09/2009
i am 18 years old and have been diagnosed with major depression, severe anxiety, and Thanatophobia (fear of death or dying). it makes living very difficult for me, especially at such a young age. i am strugling everyday to make it through the day. i have also tried several different medications but none have worked. my anxiety gets worse everyday because i have numerous different health problems as well and several scars on my body from different surgeries.
Joseph S
(Guest)
(Guest)
08/04/2009
I'm 21 and suffered with agoraphobia for 6 years. I'm now free of the debilitating effects (with 2 years CBT and some extremely kind and understanding nurses) and with regards to one of your comments; if it is brainwashing then so be it, more so if it allows me to free of my 'prison'. I wish you all the best with your life and hope you can find some degree of comfort with your 'prison'.
Rebekah
(Guest)
(Guest)
06/14/2009
Kelly,
I want to let you know that your article was very helpfl. I'am 19, and have been diagnoised since I was 16, I also have bipolar, and post traumatic stress disorder. I always feel alone with this disorder, even though i'm not. But you described me prity well. Thankyou
lindsey
(Guest)
(Guest)
04/02/2009
hi everyone, i am a 21 year old female the united states army, i have had this condition since i was about 13, i don't know where it stemmed from,i love the army, i can't see myself doing anything else but i fear that i will not be able to re-enlist because of this condition, any thoughts on this please let me know, thank you and god blessss.
Amy
(Guest)
(Guest)
03/08/2009
I know how you feel. I can't call people on the phone or make appointments without anxiety. I'm fine if I go somewhere with my husband but I have a hard time going anywhere without him. I loved reading your article.
Ray Aguieiras
(Guest)
(Guest)
09/07/2008
So when i decided to quit Alcohol i have developed severe agoraphobia,probably because i have use alcohol for so many years as a "cane" and a safety crutch.Today,after 8 months on medication and 3 months on C.B.T i am feeling a new person and i would like to tell you that there is hope for us.These were the steps i took for my recovery. 1-Understanding my Ilness(through the books of an Australian Doctor named CLAIRE WEEKES) 2-Taking the meds prescribed by my psichiatrist(Klonopin and Paxill) 3-Learning and APLYING the CBT skills learned from my psichologist 4-Changing my diet(QUIT caffeine,Sugars,Junk food etc and add lots of vegetable,fruits and lean meat) 5-Taking a multi vitamin tablets along with B6 and B complex and Magnesium 6- Exercicing(aerobics preferably)1 hour daily, 5 days a week. Other books i strongly recommend are: Master of your panic and anxiety(David Barlow) Panic attacks workbook(David Carbonnel)Freedom from Agoraphobia(Mark Eisenstadt) and When panic attacks(David
Ray Aguieiras
(Guest)
(Guest)
09/07/2008
Kelly,
I am a 38 years old Brazilian male who has been living in the U.S.A for 11 years now.I have suffered from Panic Disorder since 1986,when i was only 16 years old and i will turn 39 in November!In Brazil,in the 80's not too many doctors knew about this condition and i have refused to seek professional help for over 20 years.When i flew from Brazil to the U.S.A,I had to get and kept myself drunk through all the 8 hours flight,i drank 16 beers in the plane to make it here!!I had inumerous panic attacks and allways reacted to them with intense fear and tension and i ended up in the hospitals emergency rooms several times,sure i was going to die of a heart attack.In one ocasion i reached the hospital with my heart beating at 200 beats a minute,it was very scared!!I have never developed Agoraphobia,maybe because i kept trying to control my panic symptoms drinking alcohol for all this time,until the end of 2006 when i was a wreck(Alcoholic and overweight),so i decided to quit drinking
Kelly, you described my life completely. I cannot tell you how many times I have gotten myself out of the house and arrived at my destination but I could not make myself go in. This can be very frustrating for my family. I have not got treatment because it is so embarrassing to me. I can't even pick up the phone to call someone. Often I type out comments on here only to delete them . Your article is an excellent description of a terrible condition.
What an amazing article, Kelly! I had a friend many years ago who suffered from this. It has to be difficult, and I commend you for doing the things that you have to do, even when it's uncomfortable, and I'm so glad that you can go camping with your family. (But don't let me catch you painting and eating jello anywhere!) LOL! Very informative and interesting article!
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