It's Easy to Become a Preacher

In this day and age all one has to do to be anything is to simply go to a search engine and do a search on their computer. My case in point - becoming a preacher. In no way is this opinion column to be taken seriously. And certainly I mean no offense to the profession of the Church.

So read on and learn what I learned by the click of my mouse.

So you need advise from a preacher? Well look no farther. I have joined the ranks of becoming a Minister. But I had a different calling than most Ministers. You see, it wasn't the voice of God that called upon me. It was my computer. ..... guess I had better start from the beginning;

I have a `page' on my internet service called `CRaYON'. It stands for `CReate Your Own Newspaper'. In it, I have 8 online Newspapers from around the U.S. as well as one from Scotland. I like to read what's going on in this country of ours. In `CRaYON', I also have a search area where I can look up anything by subject. For example, I might type "Airbag" and hit the search button to locate anything that has been printed in one of my newspapers about airbags.

Anyhow, I had heard about a New World church that had a lot of folks upset. Ministers were speaking out against it but not as loud as the IRS. It seems people were joining the `Universal Life Church' so they could claim certain liberties with tax money. Churches are Tax Exempt and these types of churches were handing out certificates to ordain anyone who made a little donation. Ah, the catch.

I thought I would check out this `Universal Life Church' on my search page in `CRaYON'. I found that the State of Tennessee was filing charges against the `Church' and an article that people were contacting State Officials to see if Marriages performed by these `Ministers' were indeed legal.

I continued my search which led me to a Web Page of the `ULC' and there in plain English was how to become an ordained minister right over the internet..... for free! Well heck, I always wondered what it felt like to be ordained so I pushed the button. In about 15 seconds I received a very nice certificate from the `Universal Life Church' signed by Bishop Kirby J Hensley, President. I was ORDAINED!