Darna, My 70's Television Hero

The last time you were stuck in traffic, did you ever feel really bored, and wished you were able to fly away from it all? When this happens, I recommend rolling down the car window and shouting this one word of power:

Darna!

At this point, any Filipinos reading this would probably chuckle. Satisfied my job was done, I could end this article right here. But I understand some of you are unfortunately not Filipino (imagine my surprise) , so a little cultural education is in order.

If you are not Filipino, or if you are Filipino but did not grow up in the 70's, Darna is the greatest female super hero in all Filipino literature (read: comics) and has been made into several major motion pictures. She was even bigger than--would you believe it-- Jezebel the Mermaid ! She was created in the fifties(possibly earlier), but my generation remembers her best from the old movies they showed on television when school was out.

Darna is our local version of Wonder Woman, complete with the requisite bracelets and go-go boots that no super heroine should be without. Instead of mere tiara, she has a winged headband with a bronze disk roughly the size of a Big Mac burger patty just above her forehead. No large hairdo for this flyer, when a sleek swimming-cap has better aerodynamics. And instead of a star-spangled pair of daisy-duke shorts, it's a plain red bikini bottom with a narrow sash hanging down the front, curtain-like, to about knee-level. I don't know why, but it reminds me of a toilet paper dispenser.

Her alter ego is in most versions a little cripple girl who sells newspapers. At the first sign of civilians in trouble, she would run, or limp really quickly, into an alley, and place a magic pebble in her mouth (no, really). And guess what she shouted:

Darna!