Murder and Getting Away with It

A Simple Bit of Advice for Simple People

Now days, there is very little that is new in crime save for advanced DNA and carbon testing. You see the same behaviour come to the forefront time and time again. People commit the same crimes for the same reasons: envy, hatred, fear, stupidity, the list goes on and on. What I can't understand is that they make the same mistakes, and when arrested, they spew out the same worthless excuses. It never does them any good at all. What you impractical people need to do is stop, step away, and look calmly into the big picture here. Murder is just as simple as the rest of life, you just have to do it right. I don't approve of the act itself but if you must commit a murder there are several things to keep in mind. If you observe these simple rules of what to do and what not to do, you should raise your chances a lot. Take a moment and let me walk you through a few steps to make it even easier for my less than gifted readers.

Every successful murder begins with a plan. In fact, just about everything begins with something of the sort. Let me stop you here and let you in on the first rule of planning; the more complicated the plan, the more that can go wrong. There's no reason to waste valuable time on extravagant planning so remember: you aren't a coyote and they aren't some poor half-witted roadrunner so keep it basic.

Also, if you have successfully committed a murder before and are just poking around for some extra advice before your next caper, do not use the same plan twice. If a perfect murder is one that we don't know about, then we know about a ton of them. These crimes are the second, or third or more, in a series which would never have been discovered if the murderer hadn't gone off and tried it once too often. The police may not be geniuses but give them a break, they aren't morons, people!