11 Strange Mating Rituals: Don't Try These This Valentine's Day

Another reading on mating rituals is," Spring Gobblers " Struttin' Their Stuff."

Mating rituals in the animal kingdom are quite fascinating simply because they are, um, natural.  Think about it.  Humans turn to books, magazines, porn, sex therapists, a best bud and even mom for sex tips  Animals are guided only by instinct.  Here are 11 habits  better left for the Discovery Channel.

1.  Garden Snails- Ready, aim, fire!
Thanks to snails, I don’t feel so bad about accidentally stabbing my boyfriend during a dart game at Whiskey Business. The hemophrodite garden snail helix aspersa literally play Cupid. Whyfiles.com explains that one snail courts the other by circling it for15-minutes to six hours, touching tentacles and biting at each other’s lips and genitals.  Pressure builds in snail A’s genitals, which houses a ‘love dart‘. When snail B touches snail A’s genitals, the he-she gets punctured with the dart. The other snail fires back, each dart releasing a chemical preventing the snail from digesting the sperm.  Why you ask?  Easy- we all know you can’t get pregnant by swallowing.

2.  Patient Penguins
According to canongate.net, penguins are quite monogamous. When penguins fall in love, the ‘tuxedo-clad’ couple stand breast to breast with their heads thrown back, singing loudly with outstretched, trembling flippers. Two weeks later, the male shows his urge by laying his head upon his partner's stomach. The two then find a secluded spot for an actual intercourse process of three minutes. One and done, neither penguin will mate again that year. (Must be a north pole thing.  Just like Santa- only comes once a year!)

3.  Grasshoppers Serenade for Sex
A male grasshopper has 400 mating songs in his repertoire!  (Move over Luther Vandross!)  And, each grasshopper song means something else- from flirting to “I want to do you.” (canongate.net)