When It Is Time to Change Therapists or Counselors

In recent years, a record number of people have flocked to some type of therapist or counselor. Usually, this is because we perceive the need for a major life change, to address a specific issue like an addiction or problems with intimacy, or just to work out some rocky spots in our lives.

When therapy or counseling works best, it can be a marvelous process of self-discovery, enrichment, trust, and healing. The bond we form with a therapist or counselor can become the healthiest of our lives and can serve as the pattern for transforming all our other relationships into much better, more fulfilling ones.

Any relationship, especially one that digs deeply and explores tough subject matter like core beliefs, life failures, love, and pain, can feel very rocky at times. This is normal and must be expected. With time and hard work, most of us can come out the other side to a much better emotional and rational place.

Understand, however, that not every person and therapist or counselor will necessarily be well-matched. Also, not every therapist or counselor may have the skills needed to assist you with your particular issues. If this appears to be the case for you, it may be time to look elsewhere.

Beyond these simpler incompatibilities can lie darker waters as well. While it is certainly untrue that all non-traditional therapy or counseling is bad, the potential exists that this may take you so far out of your comfort zone as to create new problems rather than resolve existing ones. Even here, however, it can be difficult to judge what is right and wrong because most therapy, at one time or another, takes you out of your comfort zone to work through tough stuff. You usually must leave your comfort zone to progress.

Yet there are some real indicators that may serve as a signal to you with regard to when therapy or counseling is not going well or as it should. One of the most obvious signs is when such a professional asks you to do something that seems wholly inappropriate.