Legal Cocaine Will Soon Be Available

Pretty soon our kids will be lining the streets singing, "Yo, Yo, Yo for the YeYo!" The Redux Beverages Company is releasing a "legal" form of cocaine and the FDA is not happy.

The Redux Beverages Company has been warned by the FDA about its packaging and promotion of a new drink being introduced by the company.
Legal Cocaine Will Soon Be Available
 

The FDA is unhappy with the marketing stance taken by the company. Marketing the product as an illicit drug alternative does not bode well with government officials. Terms used such as "The Legal Alternative" and "Liquid Cocaine" have forced the FDA to take action against the company.

The second complaint addressed by the FDA is the company's design of the "Cocaine" label. The label artists printed lettering that "appear[ed] to be spelled out in a white granular substance that resembles cocaine powder," says the FDA on its website. Hannah Kirby, managing partner of Redux Beverages says, "We are adjusting our advertising and print material and product material to comply with this."

Another promotion tactic used by the company is even illegal according to FDA laws. The beverages web site seems to claim that "Cocaine" contains ingredients, which may prevent, treat or cure certain diseases. Kirby's released statement addressed this concern, "In order to meet compliance we need to put a disclaimer on our web site saying that these statements are not verified or approved by the Food and Drug Administration." She admits not including the disclaimer was "really naïve" on the part of the Redux Beverages Company.

The makers of "Cocaine" are surely not taking the FDA attention lightly. "We do not create the effects [nor] do we intend to create the effects of any illegal drug. We just have a controversial name," Kirby says. "We're an energy drink. We're sugar, water, and caffeine, and every energy drink is relatively the same and ours is not exception."

The FDA seems to have no problem with the name of the product. Leading the Redux Beverages company to believe they will be allowed to keep the name unchanged and still meet compliance standards.

 
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Fucking Ignorant Cunt, its yayo, you dont know shit you stupid bitch

Posted on 09/23/2008 at 7:09:56 PM

com on in this day and age kids wanna be a pimp or drug dealer usd to be cop or fire man but as we get older we see that its illegal, but most of us (not all of us) smoke weed, sell weed, move coke, in chi there are 7 year olds living there dream yea mabe surberban kids will say hey this is cool cocaine want some but its a soft drink, so whos it hurting kids? we are by makeing them go through this bull shit when, i was in grade school america was about choice and freedom, heres your choice drink it or *your freedom*DRINK SOMETHING ELSE

Posted on 04/23/2008 at 3:04:04 AM

I AGREE WITH CERTAIN ASPECTS OF EACH PERSONS STATEMENT, EXCEPT THE LITTLE KID "MIND SPEAKER", THIS WILL MAKE CERTAIN GROUPS OF PEOPLE WITH LACK OF COMMON SINCE TO SIMPLY AND STRAIGHT FOWARD SAY "OH IF THIS STUFF WAKES ME UP AND MAKES MY MOUTH GO NUMB, THEN THE REAL STUFF MUST BE EVEN BETTER" THIS IS KINDA LIKE THE CAMEL JOE COMMERCIALS THEY USE TO HAVE WHERE IT PROMPED LITTLE KIDS TO SMOKE, SAME THING, BIGGER LEVEL, THIS TIME WE ARE TRYING TO SAY ITS OKAY TO DO COKE......THINK ABOUT IT....HOW WILL YOU FEEL IF YOU HEAR YOUR KID ALWAYS SAYING....HEY IM GOING OUT TO GET COCAINE...BE BACK LATER....THAT JUST SOUNDS LIKE THE PERSON IS TRASH...

Posted on 04/17/2008 at 8:04:03 AM

Hello? Coca Cola, coca refers to the coca plant- the source of cocaine. By the way , this popular soft-drink actually contained cocaine at one time.

Posted on 09/06/2007 at 2:09:00 PM

Great article. It seems as though this company seeks to exploit the "war on drugs" by attempting to popularize one of the more deadly drugs our country has ever had to deal with. The last thing we need are more teenagers thinking that drugs are cool, even if this product is not actually a drug. Yuck...

Posted on 04/23/2007 at 1:04:00 AM

I disagree with Tweak in that kids are "more mature" in this day and age. Not to sound rude, but since when has brain development sped up?

Posted on 04/23/2007 at 12:04:00 AM

I think that by marketing this energy drink with the name Cocaine, they are in a way glorifying the drug in making it seem like it's the next best thing to the real stuff. I hate energy drinks to begin with (because I think they're dangerous), and they already carry Cocaine energy drinks in my area. They are disgustingly popular among teenagers as I have seen from my teenage siblings and their friends, and they are even said to make your mouth slightly numb...which is what real cocaine can do! I AM 100% anti-drug/drug glorification when it comes to a drink that is surely going to be popular among the young, impressionable crowd.

Posted on 04/23/2007 at 12:04:00 AM

Well, that's kind of funny. I understand (disaprove, yes) why they choose to stoop so low. It might be seedy, but it will work. People will buy it just so they can say, "I have Cocaine" or something to that effect. But I suspect those people will not be real coke-heads.

Posted on 04/22/2007 at 11:04:00 PM

I just don't understand why they'd name the product Cocaine. O.o It makes the drug look cool, and...that's just not cool. It seems like they are making a big deal out of it, but the whole ad campaign is pretty immature. This was an interesting piece. I don't think I'll be buying Cocaine, though!

Posted on 04/22/2007 at 10:04:00 PM

I think this whole thing is being blown up way too much. In this day and age, when the world, and especially our children, are more mature, an immature ad campaign like this doesn't seem too out there. Especially with all the violence and sadness in the world, why choose this little thing to try and change.

Posted on 04/22/2007 at 10:04:00 PM

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