The Conceptualization of Family in Gay and Transgendered Communities

I remember my dad - he'd say you have three strikes against you in this world. Every black man has two - that they are black and they are male. But [if] you're a black and [if] you're a male and [if] you're gay.... If you're gonna do this, you're gonna have to be stronger than you ever imagined.[1]

During the chaotic hustle and bustle of the holidays, some families find themselves somewhat neurotic in attempting to complete their holiday errands. Some of my friends, not the holiday going type, jokingly respond to this type of behavior in wishing they could choose more sane families. An underdeveloped and under appreciative comment yields a level of understanding at the joking level, yet there some unfortunates exist that find themselves with a chosen family. In the case of the homosexual community as well as the transgendered community some find their biological families hostile to the formation of a non-heterosexual identity or gender appearances, respectively. As homosexuals and transgendered people try to find ways to build a supportive community that understands and serves the needs of those that are in need of help, the construction of a "chosen family" facilitates those needs.

But why would someone consider homosexual or transsexuals as "unfortunate" for choosing a family like I mentioned above? Also, what benefits arise when someone chooses a family? The construction of a chosen family can best be understood by alluding to the AIDS epidemic in the 1980's. During this time homosexual men, through their lack of sexual education in conjunction with unprotected sex with multiple partners, they became the target for the spread of the epidemic. Many homosexuals find themselves ostracized by their families with no where to turn for emotional support and physical support (when inflicted with the disease). While homosexual men died of AIDS, "nine times out of ten it's the fake family who cleans up the shit."[2] Friends cared for dying friends since biological families stigmatized the homosexual plague and did not want themselves to be associated with AIDS.[3]