McDonald's: Where's the Beef?

Like millions of other people out there reading this, my days are filled to overflowing with tasks that need to be done. Juggling work, kids, stuff around the house, and a wife isn't always easy. Sometimes with all the crisscrossing schedules it's almost impossible to sit down together as a family and eat a meal. When life gets too busy and the wife and I get too lazy, we sometimes all pile into the minivan and head out to a restaurant for a quick feed. On one particular night we decided not to go the expensive route, but to instead shoot for cheap and quick. And nothing says this better than good old McDonald's.

Now we all know that McDonald's is no five star restaurant and believe me, my family has only the most humble expectations when we dine there. That said, you'd think that there'd be no way of being disappointed. And although that's a nice little theory, the particular McDonald's we ate at more than proved it was headed by a clown.

First off, we entered through a set of glass doors that were covered with more fingerprints than a New York crime scene. We all shuffled up to the counter being careful not to tread through the giant lake of spilled soft drink on the floor. Was that gum I stepped in? Anyway we waited for the girl behind the counter to explain just about every item on the menu to an elderly man twice before he finally ordered his cup of coffee. Then we stepped up ourselves. Now I'm no style guru or anything and have had the fashion police called on me once or twice, but is it really necessary to pin a McDonald's cap way up on top of a nest of hair that's at least two feet high? "Monique" had more hair than Bigfoot with enough curls to make Chewbacca jealous.

"Shouldn't that be in a hairnet?" my wife asked me. I assured her that there wasn't enough netting in all the world to contain a rampant beehive like that. But I digress.