The Top 5 Ugliest Players in NBA History

My friends and I love to talk about NBA basketball. Every once in awhile we get to wondering who the ugliest player in NBA history is. There have been a lot of funny looking players to play in the Association. Here is my top 5 ugliest players to lace it up on the hardwood.

Funky Lookin' Five

1. Tyrone Hill
: In my opinion he is the ugliest, scariest player in NBA history. My friend Paul has likened him to He-Man villain Skeletor and I am inclined to agree. Just look at his face. It looks like he is just a collection of bones. This is probably because Tyrone Hill is 426 years old! At least, that was the explanation I've heard for his lack of muscle tissue and his deeply indented eyes. Fun fact: I once dressed up as Tyrone Hill for Halloween and they called the cops on me.

2. Popeye Jones: I kept on wondering who he reminds me of. I finally came up with it. Sloth from " The Goonies". After figuring that out I tried to discover why he was nicknamed Popeye. I looked at the character Popeye the Sailor and I just didn't see it. Popeye the Sailor has squinty eyes, tiny ears, and eats a lot of spinach. On the other hand, Popeye Jones has large, protruding ears, huge eyes, and eats a lot of babies. Clearly they are nothing alike. Well, Popeye Jones' eyes kind of pop out of his head as if he had just seen Tyrone Hill so maybe that is where the nickname came from.

3. Sam Cassell: You might best know Sam Cassell for being the lead role in the movie E.T. Cassell is a pretty good point guard. His skills have sometimes seemed....shall I say...out of THIS WORLD! Do you get it? I am calling him an alien. Because he is really ugly and slimy looking. Commence laughter.

4. Chris Kaman: CAAAAPPPPTTTAAAAIINNNN KAAAAAMMMMMAAAAANNNNN! Chris Kaman does have a lot of similarities to a caveman. For one, neither has ever bathed or showered. He has cleaned up his act a little bit by shaving off that disgusting thing he had growing on his head but the man still is no Sam Cassell. Funny I should say that because today's Los Angeles Clippers have to be the ugliest team in NBA history.

 
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Your NBA History doesn't go too far back. Golden State's Sonny Parker was one ugly dude; so was Kelly Tripuka.

Posted on 07/03/2009 at 10:07:16 AM

what about Manute Bol?

Posted on 06/30/2009 at 3:06:28 PM

I love shallow posts like these. Here's a list of the 20 Ugliest NBA Players of All Time. http://tr.im/pTCV

Posted on 06/29/2009 at 3:06:39 PM

oh yes, tyrone hill baby! i remember when i finally figured out how to describe what ty looked like- like some kid drew a face on somebody's bony ass knee- tell me i'm right! tell me i nailed it!

Posted on 06/22/2009 at 12:06:05 AM

Sheldon Williams with his elongated forehead is pretty awesome. Marquis Daniel reminds me of some alien characters in a movie I can't recall. Patrick Ewing can star in "Planet of the apes" without makeup.

Posted on 05/18/2009 at 7:05:35 PM

I CAN'T BELEIVE NO ONE HAS REGGIE EVANS OR PHIL HUBBART ON THIS PAGE

Posted on 05/03/2009 at 6:05:55 PM

Jordan Farmar

Posted on 04/24/2009 at 12:04:03 AM

Calvin Booth

Posted on 04/24/2009 at 12:04:03 AM

Pau Gasol should be the ugliest player today

Posted on 04/18/2009 at 11:04:21 PM

Micheal Jordan he is a great basketball player but whar the fuck.

Posted on 04/06/2009 at 3:04:06 PM

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