Nancy Pelosi and Osama Bin Laden: Is There a Connection?

House Speaker Nancy Pelosi is in her office, behind her desk. The phone rings.

Nancy (picking up the phone): Hello.

Male on other end (Middle Eastern accent): Hello, is this Nancy Pelosi?

Nancy: Yes it is.

Male: Can you hold please for one second, my boss would like to speak with you.

Nancy: Who is this?

Another male on the other end (also Middle Eastern accent): Hello, Nancy.

Nancy: Who is this?

Male: I'm a great admirer of yours. (a few seconds of dead silence) This is Osama.

Nancy: Osama?

Male: Yes, Osama bin Laden.

Nancy: The terrorist?

Male: Oh, please, you're too kind. I like to think of myself as an absentee Bush-basher.

Nancy: Can I help you?

Osama: You already are.

Nancy: How's that?

Osama: What I couldn't do by crashing planes into buildings, you do with your tongue.

Nancy: Listen here Mr. bin Laden ...

Osama: Oh, please, call me Osama.

Nancy: Whatever ... look, I have nothing to do with your devious plots.

Osama: Nancy, Nancy, we have so much in common ... you hate George Bush, I hate George Bush. You want the troops out of Iraq, I want the troops out of Iraq. You go to Syria to get help from Assad, I go to Syria to get help from Assad. Of course, there's a little difference -- I know he's on my side, you THINK he's on your side. But that's a minor difference. The point is, we like the same people, we hate the same people ... why, it's almost like I have a twin sister. Say, were you born in the Afghan mountains on ...

Nancy: ... no, I was not born in the Afghan mountains ...

Osama: ... it's strange that you should say you have nothing to do with my plots. I keep telling my men this, but they don't believe me. They think you're on my payroll. And I keep telling them, no, no, her work is all pro bono (whispers) that's "free" in legal ...

Nancy: ... yes, I know what that means. Osama, I love my country.