Two Different Worlds, One Lifelong Friendship

Most articles you read concerning the changing face of your friendships after becoming a parent acknowledge that most of your friendships with people who don't have kids mostly tend to slip away. You have less and less contact with them as you find you have less and less in common, and pretty soon they feel like an obligatory recipient on the Christmas card list, and after a few years, if their no-kid status maintains and your contact has diminished to practically nothing, they might somehow slide off even the Christmas card list. Like a receding hairline, there is less and less there; you don't usually notice large chunks falling out or dramatic changes overnight, but an almost imperceptible loss occurs. But I have gone against the norm -- one of my best friends is more different than me, and in a life situation that seems to many drastically different, but she is one of my most valued confidantes.

I met this friend in an office setting when I was in high school almost a decade ago. She was a full time employee there, older than me and had already attended some college. I was graduating from high school that year, and this 2 hour a day job was earning me high school credit and monetary pay. So we were a little different then, but my profile was closer to hers than any one else in the office, who were all middle aged women, so we got to know each other some and on occasion I hung out with her and others in her young adult church group. I graduated and moved 300 miles away to attend a university. During those 4 years, we did lose quite a bit of contact, as was true of most of my pre-college relationships as I was involved heavily in extra curricular clubs, organizations and resident housing jobs. When I was about to get married, I wanted to invite her, and mailed an invitation. Unfortunately, I didn't know that she had moved, and when I tracked her down within 2 weeks of the wedding (since I had not heard if she was coming) I was sad to find out she hadn't even gotten the invitation and couldn't make it to the out of town wedding on short notice.