Why I Despise Myspace

Myspace is dead to me. No longer do its benefits outweigh its faults, and I have simply had enough. Now don't get me wrong, the site is good for some things. Myspace is an excellent tool for meeting people. It has revolutionized the way that folks socialize, and I have the utmost respect for that. The possibilities on Myspace are endless. If you are a 42-year old male seeking a 14-year old girl for casual sex, Myspace can provide you with the means for a long lasting relationship filled with painful sodomy and years of psychological counseling.

By allowing pre-teen girls who are full of themselves to post revealing photos, Myspace is just inviting predators. It's like Tom is bringing a case of beer to an AA meeting- there's bound to be trouble. Sure, the thought of creepy old men cranking it to the junior prom pictures of some lonely, slightly overweight dance team member bothers me. But that isn't the least of the site's problems that irk me.

Tom is always finding a way to screw up the log-in procedure, or deleting my "About Me" section. I might as well change my background to the error screen.

We're Sorry! Myspace has experienced an unexpected error! This error will be forwarded to the Myspace group.

Okay, first off, you aren't sorry. And the error wasn't unexpected. I was thoroughly expecting not to be able to log in, because that's the way it usually is. Maybe Myspace needs people like me on their staff to sit around all day and predict errors for them. I think I'd be pretty good at it. And who is this Myspace Error Group anyway? Some shadowy group of keyboard punching patriots that read every error that Myspace makes and amazingly corrects them? No way! They are probably a bunch of middle-aged, pansy paper pushers who sit around a desk all day eating donuts and wishing they hadn't wasted 12 years of their life taking C++ classes at MIT.

Wait, maybe there is no error team... that would probably make more sense.