Can Abusive Teasing and Taunting Really Affect Someone for a Lifetime?

That is a question that has been asked countless times over the past several days after the terrible tragedy that occurred at Virginia Tech. It is not the first time this has happened and, unfortunately, it will probably not be the last. What can possibly cause a person to act out in such a heinous way? Violence is unacceptable and though there are speculations as to why it occurs, it is never an answer, no matter how badly one was treated as a child.

But the situation has, again, brought up the topic of bullying and being picked on as a child or young person. Why most victims of bullying go on to be normal adults (albeit with deep issues, sometimes) and others snap and kill many innocent people is a question that cannot always be answered completely. It all lies in how much a person can take and their mental stability in the beginning. Bullying and being picked on is a serious problem. And, like poison, its damage is caused by a cumulative effect after years of being mistreated by one's peers.

My husband and I were both children who were picked on a great deal. We have discussed it at length and the ramifications of it are still alive and well in our lives on a daily basis. It is not something that we think about each day and certainly not something that we use as a crutch or excuse, but it has clearly affected our personalities in many different ways. As young adults, we tended to lack self-esteem and were always seeking the approval of others. With the passage of time, we now have become more aggressive and stronger in our everyday lives with a very low tolerance for teasing (even if it is all in good fun).