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Seeing Sunshine After Climbing Out of a Dark Hole
After the birth of my second child in 1999, I found myself in a deep, dark hole within myself. It was postpartum depression and according to the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services I was one of the 13% of postnatal women annually who slip into that same darkness.It was a disturbing and frightening time in my life that I still remember well and pray never to experience again. My biggest regret is not having the knowledge to recognize the symptoms and the courage to seek help earlier before I was so deep that it was a struggle to climb back out.
Postpartum Depression: More Than Baby Blues
My second child, Mia, came screaming into the world at 12:27 a.m. on a Tuesday morning in August of 1999.
Elation and euphoria are the norm for a mother giving birth and looking at her child for the first time and I was no different. I was instantly in love.
My husband Sam, baby Mia and I left the hospital and went to my parent's home - where our two-year-old son Kage and my parents were waiting for us. This was our temporary home - my parents' house. Our house had burned earlier in the year and Sam, Kage and I had moved in with my parents while we waited on the insurance to settle and get our new house built.
Our new house was waiting for us now, finished and ready to be moved into - a week before my due date. Prior to Mia's birth, though, I had announced that I would not be moving until after the baby was born. I was nesting and would not be going anywhere. When Mia was one week old, our new family of four moved into our new house.
I felt hopeful that we would settle into the newness of the home and the four-person family quickly.
Fast forward six months when life should have been back to normal and well-adjusted. In fact, my life was far from it.
I began to realize something wasn't right when the normal period of hormonal imbalance and baby blues after delivery had long since passed. Baby blues generally last about 10 days postpartum - but mine had never gone away and had in fact escalated.
Comments
I discovered this gem in the Best of 2009 thread (thank you, Rose). I have to admit that this is one of the best articles that I have read on this site, as of yet. I typically don't read alot of personal experience articles, not out of preference, it just happens that way, but I have heard alot about Post-partem depression and was curious. I have suffered from depression in the past and have been afraid to take the step to becoming a mommy because of it. As I'm getting closer to my thirties, though, I want a child more and more. Sorry for the long story, it's just that your article just made me feel like if I find myself in that dark place, I can find my way out of it. That was a fantastic read, honestly. I am happy that you and your family can enjoy life together and that you don't have to cope with those difficulties any longer. Take care and thank you for sharing this.
Great story! I too, suffered from postpartum depression after my son's birth in 2006, but I also had to deal with postpartum panic disorder as well, which was a double whammy. I totally understand everything that you went through.
I have a lot of sympathy for any family that goes through postpartum depression. My family has a long history of this. Great article.
Thank you for sharing such a difficult medical issue in such easy to understand wording. Your experience, published here, will certainly help many, many women to recognize & get help more quickly than they might otherwise. Write on!
Reading your story brought me back to mine. Thank you for letting others know that they are not alone and this can be treated. I was on medicine for a while and feel great now. I do still miss the times that I did not enjoy with my kids due to the depression but every moment now is that much more special.
You've got courage to share your experience. Thanks for being willing to do so.
I suffered this with my first child, but it was not as extreme as what you went through.
Thanks for your honesty. I'm so glad you got through this darkness. This article will help lots of new Moms. A house burning down, having to live with parents, build, move again while dealing with pregnancy and a toddler would put anybody over the edge I would think. I have had depression too, although not postpartum, and I came out on the other side as well. If I have a down day though, I still fear slipping back down that slope. You are courageous!
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You shared your experiences wonderfully, it is hard to face it but by sharing hopefully so many others can learn from it too.
Thanks for sharing your experiences with us. this is extremely helpful to all the others who will inevitably go through this themselves (and I have known more than a few).
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