Dealing With Someone Else's Violent Child (Ages 3-7)

Tips for Babysitters, Teachers and Daycare Workers

Having children can be one of the most demanding and rewarding tasks in a person’s life. Working with children, especially children that are not your own, can also be rewarding, but the demands are far different than that of a parent, especially when it comes to dealing with difficult children.

Young children, from the ages of three to seven, are just developing their sense of social interaction, right versus wrong, and are in the process of developing a strong personality all their own. Some children will react violently when confronted with certain people, events or situations. Whether you’re a daycare worker, a babysitter, or a teacher, dealing with a violent child that is not your own can be increasingly frustrating and hard. Outlining a strategy and analyzing the situation in depth are important parts of both helping the child learn suitable reactions as well as making your classroom/work environment a safe place for both you and the other children in your care.

The most important part of dealing with a violent child, especially from the ages of three to seven, is to analyze the situations in which the child reacts violently. Is it frequent and with what seems like no trigger or is it more controlled and definable? Some children will react violently when they don’t get their way, when they feel someone is being mean, or for no discernable reason. It is important to determine for yourself what factors you think are bringing out the violent behavior. The next step is to ask the child why he’s reacting violently. When you ask a child, especially younger children who may not yet be able to verbalize their feelings fully, be very specific. Don’t just ask “Why did you do that?” Ask “why did you slap Tommy on the face?” Many children will not be able to give you a real reason, but analyzing the words they use may help you determine the triggers of the violent behavior.