Does True Love Really Exist?

Does true love really exist? You know, the kismet kind. The kind that envelopes two spirits before they've even met; the kind Shakespeare must have been writing about in Romeo and Juliet; the kind that makes you give up everything familiar, moral, safe, to walk in the direction of destiny.

Though true love appears to be an under-researched topic, Dr. Dennis Neder, an ordained minister and doctor of metaphysics, does advise love has three phases: the infatuation stage, the bonding stage and the familiar stage. He says it helps to consider all three phases when trying to figure out whether or not it's the real thing.

But, if it's true love, does it warrant dissecting and breaking down into stages? Do you have to consider anything at all; or, is it just "so"?

One Discovery.com author wrote there are nine ways to tell if the love you have for your partner is the real thing:

1. You feel good.
2. You look forward to spending time with your partner.
3. You respect your partner.
4. You're interested in what your partner thinks.
5. You accept your partner's quirks.
6. You're able to work through your problems.
7. You feel safe. (You're not afraid of losing your partner.)
8. You can't explain why you're together.
9. You don't compare your partner to others.

"True love is when you care enough for another person to allow them the space and time they need to become all they can be," says Christiane Northrup, M.D., author of Women's Bodies, Women's Wisdom (Bantam, 1998).

Kathlyn Hendricks, Ph.D., and Gay Hendricks, Ph.D., authors of Everlasting Love, say true love occurs when you shift from unconscious commitment to conscious commitment.

But is it really that clinical?

Cassandra Black, a freelance writer working on her first adult novel, says she is a simple romanticist.

"I believe true love exists. Of course it does," says Black. "But I think we are so numb in society today that many of us wouldn't recognize it if it bopped us over the head. Maybe it has been relegated to medieval times. We live in a too-fast society, riddled with rote, which is often the hurdle to subconscious, fateful wanderings of the heart."