Best and Worst Halloween and Trick-or-Treat Candy

A Tongue-in-Cheek Look at Halloween with Practical Overtones

I've tried to substitute prizes in place of candy for trick-or-treating. I was called everything from party-pooper to un-American. And this from my children alone. So here is my list of best and worst Halloween candy to give out. What's that I hear? Laughter? You're mocking me for writing an article on Halloween candy? Evidently, you don't understand the seriousness of trick-or-treating. Or you never had a dad who meticulously inspected every piece of candy and made you throw half of it out.

Parents did this in the good old days when we had to worry about Tylenol laced Smarties and razor blades in apples. My husband is of this generation. He allows no candy to be consumed until he has personally scanned each piece. He would have made an excellent CIA agent. So to prevent the trick-or-treat candy you give out from going in the trash, here are some suggestions to consider when choosing candy.

-Wrappers: My husband is maniacal about loose wrappers. Choose trick-or-treat candy that is double-wrapped, or factory sealed at both ends. Skip the twisted wrappers such as those on Tootsie Rolls and some bubble gum. Skip also the folded candy wrappers. Many a Reese's Peanut Butter Cup has gone to the trash after Dad detected a wrapper not firmly secured. Oh, and those yummy little Palmer's chocolates shaped like bloody fingers and severed ears; now these are acceptable only if they are not foil-wrapped. The foil comes un...foiled very easily. How these will prevent some sicko at the factory from poisoning the candy, I don't know. You'll have to ask my secret agent husband. But at least some anthrax poisonings will be prevented.