Married or Maiden Name? The Last Name Debate for the Modern Woman

Suffering From Identity Crisis?

Call it the precursor to the "Mommy Wars," the name change debate can be just as ruthless, just as grievous, and that seemingly perfect solution, just as elusive for the modern woman.

Granted, for many women - the name game is a non-issue. In fact, The Lucy Stone League, an organization named after a woman who refused to take her husband's name when she married in 1855, estimates about 90 percent of women marrying today will drop their own name to take their husband's. Hmm - so is the great debate merely a grand illusion leftover from bra-burning second wave feminists of the 1970s?

Hardly. Because while most women say "I do" to taking their husband's last name, a great many of them struggle with the concept and the decision. A quick glance at some online forums dedicated to the topic affirmed that this is still a hot button issue - with judgment, perceived or actual, running rampant on both sides of the proverbial fence.

Even those brides who didn't agonize over the decision are painfully aware of potential ramifications of their married name and judgments the other camp may inflict; "Oh - you took his last name? Well, isn't that so 1950's house-wifey of you!" And the condemnation is by no means exclusive to one side... From the other side, you may hear, "So you hyphenated your last name? Are you that insecure that you feel the need to assert your independence with every penned signature?" And so on and so forth...The judgment of women by fellow women seems to begin with the name change and continues through to the next hot button issue - whether or not to work outside the home. And we all know that no one is going to solve these issues any time soon.

Thus, it's understandable that many engaged women struggle with the notion of the impending name change. If you are one of those women who can't seem to find that easy answer - that perfect solution - relax in knowing that you're not the first woman to wrestle with the concept, and you most certainly won't be the last.

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