When is the NBA Going to Stop Making Love to Lebron James and Dwayne Wade?

Attention fans of the National Basketball Association- your favorite league is cheating on you. Listen, I know you've been a big fan of the league ever since you and your dad watched games together when you were little. I know you have devoted countless Saturday afternoons to matinee games and endless nights staying up to cheer on your team while they were away on the West coast. I know you have bought the jerseys, the programs, the Nike shoes and all the memorabilia your paycheck or wife allows you to. I know that you are in love with the NBA, and that's why it is so hard for me to break this news to you. Whether you like it or not, your passion for the league doesn't matter- it is sleeping in another bed. The NBA is involved in an incestuous love affair with two of its own, one that has become more and more obvious in the last two seasons. Your league is making sweet, sweaty man love to Lebron James and Dwayne Wade.

I first noticed that maybe the NBA was spending too much time away from us in the playoffs last season. Yeah, the league claimed to be on a business trip, but we all knew better. Our sweetheart was arranging special lunch-dates and dinner/movie combos with some kid in Miami and another punk in Cleveland. You were in denial at first; we all were. We saw the commercials on TV, we saw the post game coverage, we heard the analysts talk about these two young guns like they were the second coming of Christ (or at least the second coming of Kareem). We didn't want to think that the NBA was showing obvious preference to two players in a league of over 350, it just wouldn't make sense.

You had seen this happening before, with some superstar straight out of high school named Kobe Bryant. He won some championships and looked like he was going to make quite the career for himself, and our league began to casually show affection towards him. Just some light touching at first, then some heavy petting and eventually kissing with tongue. But Bryant decided to let his guard down and he was accused of raping a teenager, and it scared the NBA away from any chance of a great love affair.