How to Live (or Not Live) with an Alcoholic

Living with and still loving an alcoholic can seem nearly impossible. Even the strongest can be broken down by all the chaos that an alcoholic can cause. Whether they are a binger, only drinking occasionally, but excessively when they do, or a practicing alcoholic, drinking every day (or nearly every day), the house can be in turmoil and the alcoholic is the only one who seems not to notice.

I hear you can tell if there is an alcoholic in the house by observing the rest of the family. They are the ones trying to hold it all together while the alcoholic seems oblivious to what is really going on. They seem like the sick ones.

They make the phone calls to work when the alcoholic is too hung over to go in that day; they make the excuses why the alcoholic is missing the family get-together or why a bill (or bills) is not getting paid that month. They are the ones who tip-toe around the house, trying to be quiet so the alcoholic won't be upset and use that as an excuse to drink that day.

The children living in a family with an alcoholic member are likely to be either trying to be perfect so as not to cause the alcoholic to drink, or acting out to get attention because all the attention is focused on the alcoholic. They may think that if they were better the alcoholic would stop drinking, not realizing that the drinking has nothing to do with them.

Eventually, the children of an alcoholic become as sick as the alcoholic himself. They take on responsibilities that they are not ready for yet because the alcoholic is not being responsible. They assume the role of the missing alcoholic parent by cooking meals, cleaning the house, taking care of other siblings, working after school to help pay bills, and any other duties that the alcoholic parent has shirked.