Parent / Family Relationships: The Transition to College

It is obvious that the relationships between college students and their families will change when the student leaves home. Because their children no longer live under their set of rules, and parents have kind of lost the right to try to punish for everything, it becomes more of a friend/friend relationship than a parent/child one. Being out from under their parents' wings, a young adult will have to learn to be more responsible-do their own laundry, keep track of keys, and remember appointments and schedules. However, in the midst of our transitions to college, we may be overlooking the fact that our families are affected, too.

For this article, I talked to a few people about their relationships with their child/relative who is currently attending college. Diana Faidley, my mother, has now had four children go to college, so she's been through the whole "teenager leaving home" process a few times. Valerie Faidley is my sister-in-law who never went to college herself, and is now experiencing for the first time what it's like to have someone she loves dearly (ME!) in college. Kathy Mathews is my roommate Suzy's mother who has been divorced for a few years now. Terry Brigman is my friend Morgan's father. He and his wife also have a twenty-year old boy, Cody, who is currently enlisted in the United States Navy.

Now that we've all been introduced, let's get on with the discussion.

Question #1. When did your child/relative first return home after move-in day?

Valerie: Emily was back three days after moving in-I called their house and when she answered, I was like, "What's wrong?? Why are you home??"

Kathy: Suzy came back the same day as Emily-her cat was stressed and wouldn't eat, so Suz had to come home so Abby wouldn't starve!

Terry: Morgan didn't come home until a couple of weekends later-she was having way too much fun meeting people! (All laugh.)

Question #2. Do you welcome your college student back with open arms, or would you rather they just e-mail you their news?