When to End a Friendship

For many people ending a friendship can be as emotionally draining as ending a romantic relationship. You still lose someone with whom you have countless in-jokes. You may live or have lived together and must leave that closeness in the past. Just as in a relationship, your former friendship leaves a hole in your life where there once was a source of emotional support. But there are many reasons why you may have to take a break from a close friend or cut ties altogether.

If your friend always makes you feel bad about yourself, it may be time to end the friendship. Maybe she makes fun of you and then turns it around on you when you complain, saying you can't take a joke or you are too uptight. A friend worth keeping would agree to stop behavior you feel is cruel whether or not she meant to be joking.

Maybe your friend constantly complains of not liking your spouse or children and invites you to events but not your family. This can make you feel awful because in excluding your family your friend implies you chose the wrong mate or didn't raise your children correctly.

If your friend tries to make you feel like you should find a new job and constantly crows with pride about hers, she is belittling you by criticizing your major life decisions. If you complain about your job then she had a right to suggest that you do something else. But if you like your job and she tries to get you to quit in favor of something she wants you to do, such as one of those direct sales operations so many people bother their friends with, maybe it is time to put some distance between you.

When your friend is jealous of all your other friends and makes you choose between hanging out with her and hanging out with them, that is a definite red flag. Attempts to isolate you are tantamount to emotional abuse and may be followed by other forms of abuse; one of the first stages of spousal abuse is to isolate your spouse from friends and family and attempts by a friend may be similar in their efforts to control you.