Italian Cultural Quirks: Be Careful What You Say!
I've lived overseas for a good part of my life and out of "that" I've spent an awful lot of time in Italy. You'd think after living in this country off and on for the better part of 20 years I'd have a good handle on the culture. But not a day goes by that I am not overwhelmed (or perhaps under-whelmed) by some new cultural nuance, some little quirk that reminds me that no matter how long I live here I will always be an outsider.Let me tell you about the dreaded "brutta figura." (pronounced BRUU-TAH FIH-GUU-RAH) This is literally translated as "ugly figure" but the more profound significance leans more towards a person being embarrassed or embarrassing someone else or having egg on his or her face or humiliating someone. This is a phrase that is bandied about quite a bit. It is not a nice. You don't want to be labeled as the Brutta Figura or do something that makes a Brutta Figura out of someone else.
I must clarify that is not something new to me. I use the term pretty freely in conversation. Lots of people do. I use it a lot of times at my own expense - but never seriously and always in jest. And that ladies and gentlemen in the key.
Pt. I: Gary Goes to the Gym
I changed gyms recently. I found one that opens a little earlier in the morning and stays open a little later in the evening and that means more flexibility for 'ol Gar. Now being the social animal that I am, and having been a gym-rat most of my life, I can tell you that if I say hello to you in the gym there is no hidden agenda on my part. If I say hello to a female it means "Hello" and not "Hello, let's have sex." Same applies to guys. At least that's when I say hello. When YOU say hello maybe it means something different. When Italians say Hello, maybe THEY mean something different. In most gyms I've been in, heck in most places in general I've been in be it a 7-11, Wal-Mart or Borders, the small talk is just that. I'm certainly not thinking about performing the mating dance of the Bald Eagle with someone wearing spandex if I'm holding 250 pounds of iron above my head.
But I digress.
- Sometimes it's not WHAT you say but WHO you say it to and WHEN.
Comments
I always enjoy your cultural tales of Puglia so much and this was no exception. Thanks for giving me my morning laugh and a good start to the week. One of the things I miss most about Italy is your commentary from SEB. Nice to have a little taste of it here!
Ma che figura di Merda! Gary, this was a breezy, insightful read. An Italian myself, I can tell you that it's very easy to commit a brutta figura and thank goodness you didn't beat yourself up too much over it. When I was 15 and visited my family in Naples, we posed for a picture with my uncle and his then fiance. I put my arm around her because I was always a very tactile person. Apparently, I must have committed a no-no because quickly after the picture snapped, she walked away in embarrassment and wouldn't look at me the rest of the day. My uncle later approached and asked me if I made a pass at her. Can you believe that??
Oh dear, Gary! Sorry to hear of what happened. I can sympathise because I sometimes face culture clashes living in America, even though I've lived here for over 3 years this time around. People tend to assume that the British and American cultures are similar. But they are surprised when I tell them that the culture is 100% different. There are just some things I can't say or do over here for fear of offending someone (innocently!) I'm going to PM you with an example of what happened to me over the summer.
Sophie
I laughed so hard at this line, "I'm certainly not thinking about performing the mating dance of the Bald Eagle with someone wearing spandex if I'm holding 250 pounds of iron above my head." Today things in the US are a lot quirkier than they were in the past. I can't imagine being in another country and having to "get with the program" culturally. But my gosh, I didn't think things were so strict in Italy!? For some reason, I have this vision of everyone pitching each others behinds over there. By the way, in Spanish, we have Bruto o Bruta (female), which basically means that someone is lacking finesse physically (like a bull in a China shop) and/or not the brightest bulb in the batch.
Cielo Gary! I wouldn't last an hour there without being covered from head to toe with eggs... :o) May the rest of the year be glitch-free for you!
I clearly can see this as a part of the culture living in Italy. I know Gary's wife as a young teenager. Great Family! God Bless from the cornfields of IL Pat McAllister
Very interesting article, Gary! I had never even heard "Brutta Figura" before!
Ken Stabbs
(Guest)
(Guest)
11/10/2009
From Sunny San Vito to Sunny San Antonio you always make me shake my head an smile. Buona fortuna il mio amico, la fortuna.
Mike Woolverton
(Guest)
(Guest)
11/04/2009
Hey buddy. Guess I'm not the ONLY one whose "sh*t list" you are on, eh??? ;-) Don't worry though.....I've been on MY bride's "sh*t list" for the last 29 of our 30 years now. I think they GIVE you ONE year gratis and after that.....
Ciao, amica mea!!
Rob Winkler
(Guest)
(Guest)
11/04/2009
Good story Gary... ridiculous situation. I hope all's well with you. Are you on facebook? robwinkler82@hotmail.com... I'm in San Diego these days.
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