Love Affairs & Cheating : Why Do Husbands Get Mad at the Men, and the Wives Get Mad at the Women?

Shouldn't They Be Mad at Their Spouses?

On TV and in Real Life, it always seems like the victims of love affairs are always getting mad at the wrong people. It amazes me when I see either on a television show, in the movies, and in real life, that spouses of those who cheat seem to be more angry with the person their spouse is cheating with, then with the spouse themselves. This makes no sense to me. Logically, your spouse should be accountable for the vows and promises they made. The other man or woman is just a bit player so to speak. I'm not saying their innocent, but it's not up to that person to keep one's marriage healthy and faithful. I thought it would be interesting to explore some of the reasons I believe, that the victims of cheating may be doing this.

Denial- When finding out the love of your life has cheated, it's a very devastating thing. I can't imagine anyone wanting to face this. The pain can be so great it is easy to go into a state of denial. If you blame the other man or woman, you don't have to deal with the fact that Mr. Or Mrs. Wonderful has done you wrong. After all, if it was the other person's fault and not your spouses, it really didn't happen, right? Wrong. But that's the way it has to be because it's just too darn painful to except

Fear Of Loss- Fear of losing the person you love and wanted to spend the rest of your life with is overwhelming. At first you may try to deny it, but let's face it, it is a possibility. You start thinking about how much you have to lose. The father or mother of your children, your life long companion, the dreams you had together. Yes, if you focus on the other man or woman being at fault, you don't have to think about how your spouse may want to leave you for them. This very well could happen.

Self Esteem- If you choose to believe it's the other person's fault, you have a better chance of your self-esteem staying intact. If you start thinking that your husband or wife didn't like how you looked, or performed in bed, you just couldn't stand it. It's easier to believe that other person seduced your love, instead of the other way around.