How to Talk to Your Aging Parents About Planning for Their Future

It can be hard to accept that our elderly parents may not always be able to sufficiently care for themselves. After all, these are the people who raised us, took care of us and did their best to guide us safely into adulthood. Now our roles are reversing--we may end up being the caregiver and our aging parents might look to us for guidance and help.

It might be uncomfortable to bring up subjects like finances, health issues or living arrangements. We may have unrealistic expectations and want our parents to be the capable and able-bodied people they've always been. However, beginning to talk to your aging parents about their future when they are healthy and of sound mind is much better than waiting until an illness or other crisis happens. The issues aging parents face are complex and won't be ironed out in one conversation but rather, are likely to be a ongoing dialogue. The sooner you start, the better off everyone will be.

How to Begin

This is probably the hardest part of talking to your aging parents about their future. It may take a great deal of courage to begin, but once the ice is broken, you'll likely find that each subsequent conversation gets easier.

How you begin will depend somewhat on the relationship you currently have with your aging parents. Obviously, the better your relationship, the more open they're likely to be about discussing personal issues with you. Regardless, try to bring up these sensitive subjects in a non-threatening way, and at a time when everyone is calm, rested and can focus on the conversation without interruptions.

If they refuse to talk at first, let it go and try again later. Attempting to push them into talking will only make them more defensive and stubborn. Let them know you're asking questions because you care about them and are concerned about their future, not because you want to take charge of their life. If they can see that you want to help them in planning for their future rather than make decisions for them, they are much more likely to talk.