Am I a Coward for Having Fear?

When I first returned home from Iraq I was asked the same questions over and over again by everyone. Naturally they were curious. What bugged me the most was them asking if I was scared. I wasn't sure how I should answer this. Should I say yes and have them think I was a coward? Should I say no and let them think I am a big bad army soldier who eats fear for breakfast. Most of the time, I avoided the question by talking about a certain event that had happened while I was in Iraq. It was always followed by "Man, I could not do that. I could not be in the Army. I support the troops but I certainly couldn't see myself doing that".

There were times in Iraq when I was scared, I won't lie to you. I literally had various occasions where I thought "I may not make it home". Do not let anyone tell you that in a combat situation they had "no fear", they are lying. Fear should not be confused with being a coward. We all have fears in one form or another. You must not let your fears overtake you to the point where you no longer become and effective soldier.

A coward would turn and run at the first sign of fear. A soldier overcomes his or her fear and drives on with the task at hand. From my own personal beliefs my mind would be set at ease at times when I was feeling scared. You will have your own methods of coping with situations, and you will find that all of your army training will come out instinctively. You will react upon things without hesitation.

It took me a little while after being home before I could honestly say "Yes, there were times I was scared. This is why". Did I like being away from home? No, but I went and did the job I agreed to do when I enlisted. Being put in a combat situation as well as enlisting in the army has changed me, but I can honestly say it was for the better. I have a new respect for my profession, my country, and my flag. There are times when I see the American flag flying overhead and the feeling of tears form up in me. Not tears of sadness, but of pride for what I have accomplished and done.