Halo 101: A Man's Guide to Teaching a Woman About the Video Game

I think all men secretly (some not so secretly) desire being with a woman who can hold her own when it comes to cool manly things - power tools, leather, fast cars, motorcycles, chugging, and now, gaming. 

My husband recently introduced me to Halo 2. It's a world I didn't understand before, but now that I've been exposed, I'm devilishly addicted. And I can think of nothing that makes him more proud. 

You too can be a proud man. Together, my husband and I have created an “Intro to Halo for Females" that we highly recommend to men who want to get their woman into the gaming world, but be patient. This will take some time – months probably. 

Note: This works best in pairs. Women don't like to be alone. We do better if we have a friend that is just as bad as we are (but when you’re alone, tell her she's better than the other beginners, even if it's not true). So find another couple to play with, it’ll take you far. 

The simple steps:
1. Team up - Men vs. Women. Give yourself a “severe” handicap. 

2. In addition to the handicap, you need to stack things in favor of your woman (we like to win you see, and if we win, we're more likely to play again). So, game setup should include rocket launchers and energy swords as starting weapons. These are pretty obvious choices for beginners. Put default weapons on the map. The only players using rockets and swords should be the newbie womenfolk. You have to drop rockets and swords for defaults. Oh, and don't use any grenades at first either. It sounds extreme and unfair, but get over it, we're playing with you, OK? 

3. Map: Foundation. This is a good, open map. You'll be on this map for long, LONG time. 

4. So ... now you play. Give lots of encouragement (i.e. Whoa! Nice shot. What? How did I not kill you? [This last one works especially well in building her confidence.]) Do NOT give lots of advice at this point. Advice is not welcome yet. And absolutely no laughing. Chances are we'll run into a couple walls and commit suicide quite often. Keep the laughter hidden.