How to Be a Parent and a Writer

When trying to cope with what seem to be the mutually exclusive duties of being a parent and being a writer, perspective is required. Take a deep breath. Tell yourself that nearly all writers were parents, and if they did it, you can too. Console yourself that yours is a special and even divine challenge. Then let that breath out and go change that diaper! Kidding, of course. The things you are going to be distracted by throughout the course of this dual existence... diaper changing is bliss compared to some of them.

This has been done before. It can be done again.

Of course once a child enters your life any person of worth changes their priorities immediately, not even consciously, but on some primal level. Yours is the charge of saving the human race, of contributing to mankind's existence beyond yourself, and this supersedes everything, even your need for expression. Plus, I'm sure the kid is cute. Their is the cuteness which has blighted parents from seeing all else, even the death of their own individual future, the whole world over. But it is only that way if you let it be.

Before I get into the philosophical aspects of managing these dual existences and even merging them, let me mention one practical bit of advice, though it is sure to fail for most of you. See if you can write in the presence of your family. Can you take your journeys in the same sphere they take theirs in? Can you write on the laptop in the living room and give sufficient attention to your work? If you can do this, then almost all your problems are solved right off the bat. It opens up a whole new world. But for many of us, the family only seems to ratchet up the need to distract tenfold the moment any writing apparatus makes an appearance, and then we are back to square one.

Take a deep breath. Exhale. This has been done before...