A Comparison of Authoritarian and Authoritative Parenting Styles

As a parent, you are in charge. This automatically makes you authoritative unless you abdicate your parental place. Being able to keep things moving evenly is important in every household. All parents need for their children to see them as the authority figure in the home. Crossing the line from authoritative to authoritarian is not considered a positive move.

The authoritarian parent is a dictator. "My way or the highway" is the trademark attitude of this type of parent and personality. Often parents who operate this way will work hard to not only enforce rules but perspectives, ideals, and morals. While this is not all bad, most of these concepts are better taught by leading than by preaching. This style of parenting removes choice from the child. Children are discouraged from thinking for themselves or exploring other options or opinions than the one held by the parent.

Authoritarian parents often believe saying it louder is better. When that doesn't work, beating it into them might be the next ploy. They do not stand for any variance from their opinions or actions. When questioned about why something is done a certain way, the answer will be one form or another of: "Because I said so!" These parents are frequently embarrassed by their children's actions because they expect something from them that exceeds perfection.

Authoritative parents tend to have the respect of their children because they are in charge but not dictatorial. Children are allowed a measure of flexibility in negotiating rules like bedtime. The children obey because they see the principles driving the rules being lived out in the lives of the parents.

People who practice authoritative parenting are not afraid to have their ideas or ideals challenged. They tend to believe that if something won't stand up to examination, it may not be valid. The are confident enough in themselves to remove the aspect of regarding any challenge as a personal affront to their authority. They know they are in control because they are the parents. It isn't necessary to become overbearing to prove the point.