Ingredients of Love: Do You Have Them All?

Recently one of my friends got dumped by her boyfriend. She was dumped exactly eight months to the day when they first began dating. I met the man she was dating only a handful of times. I did not dislike the guy, but I didn't think he was a great catch either. My friend claims she has been destroyed by this break-up and that she will never find a "love" like this one again.

Hearing her say that she loved him bothered me. I have been in a relationship for over three years and I definitely love the person that I am involved with. I have a simple recipe for love. The ingredients for love are: trust, respect, mutual adoration, attraction, and the possession of similar morals and values by both parties.

Here's the trick to love. All of the ingredients for the above recipe have to be stirred in and incorporated equally.

Think about it. You can trust, respect and adore someone, but if you are not physically attracted to the other person, then what you end up with is more of a strong friendship than love. If you trust, respect, and are attracted to your partner, but you really don't possess the same morals or values, then your relationship will inevitably deteriorate. I hope that I don't need to explain that even the strongest physical attraction with the absence of all of the other ingredients is simply lust, not love.

Now, let's get back to my friend's story. I mentioned earlier that I didn't think her boyfriend was a great catch. I'll provide you with his stats. He is 29 years old. Currently, he is employed, but during several months of their relationship he was not. He smokes and is balding. He drinks daily and dedicates certain nights of the week to going to specific bars. For example, every Tuesday night he can always be found at a bar called The Pub with his friends, even during the months when he was unemployed and should have been working on his resume. Do I need to point out the idiocy of a jobless man having a designated bar night each week? I hope not. One more thing, he still lives with his parents.