Co-Parenting: The Best of Dual Households

By V.C. Higuera, published Apr 02, 2006
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It's been predicted that 1 in 2 marriages will ultimately end in divorce. Hence, the number of children being shuffled from one parent's house to the other will likely increase. Once children are involved in a divorce, parents must attempt to work through their differences. Although some parents stay together for the children, this is not always the smartest option. When fighting or yelling becomes a daily occurrence, separation becomes a better alternative. If parents reside in separate households, this usually means that children must abide by two sets of rules. After a separation or divorce, children display a range of emotions from anger to depression. To make the transition easier, both parents should maintain an active role in the children's lives. Living in separate homes does not relieve parents of their obligation. Co-parenting is essential. For this to be a success, parents have to work collectively.

Keep Consistent Rules: When parents separate or divorce, there is often the tendency to indulge children. The parent who moved out may feel guilty. However, do not allow guilt to interfere with your parenting responsibility. Children and teenagers are smart and capable of manipulation. If children detect their parent's shame, they may take advantage of the situation. This entails testing their boundaries or acting out. Never bend the rules. Even though a major change has occurred, the house rules should remain the same.

Argue in Private: If possible, parents should put aside their dislike for each other and focus on raising stable children. Understandably, situations do occur where parents develop a strong hatred for one another. Though quarrelling is inevitable, attempt to keep the shouts to a minimum. If you must fight or argue, do so in private. Besides, when parents have a routine of yelling, children may use this as a device for manipulation. In other words, if a child becomes upset with one parent, they may seek an ally in the other parent. This can easily spark an unnecessary battle between the parents.

Takeaways
  • Fifty percent of all marriages end in divorce.
  • Co-parenting is a success when both parties can agree.
  • A key to co-parenting is working through dislikes.
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