Disorders and Dysfunction: How Personality Traits Determine Our Relationship Choices...for Better or for Worse

One of the most important life choices we make, as individuals, is whom we will choose to spend the rest of our lives with. While some of us travel from relationship to relationship trying to find the one that will last, others seem to fall in love with their "high school sweethearts" and live happily ever after. Some of us remain single, always looking but never seeming to have any luck.

Others realize that finding that person who is "one in a million" means that you might have to go through that million first. These people seem to date endlessly, only limited by the days in a week or the hours in a day. Others may not be able to find "Mr. Right", but settle for "Mr. RightNow", while yet others remain in relationships far too long, often resulting in dysfunction or even abuse.

So, what is it that causes some of us to find our "soul mate" at an early age, while others travel a path destined for failure, wondering if such a person really exists? Certainly whom we meet is affected by demographics. And, it goes without saying that a degree of "nature vs. nurture" and upbringing leads to certain choices. However, I posit that there is yet another correlation to be explored. Is it possible that personality can define whom we choose to enter relationships with...for better or for worse?

And, further, does it then define the outcome of that relationship: how we act, how we are treated, and how long it may last. I posit that personality is a predominant factor in determining relationship choices and outcomes--a variable that has a significant effect on our happiness and influence over all other facets of our life. This paper explores the various personality traits, as well as the correlating disorders, and the relationship choices that result as a function of them.

The Origins of Personality

In order to explore the correlation between personality and relationships, it is first essential to present some background information into personality theory, itself. In addressing the issue of where personality comes from, or how personality comes about, there are various schools of thought.

The Psychoanalytic School of Thought______