Identity Crisis: Don't Give it Up for Your Man

Sally is an independent woman and established in her career. Her biological clock begins to tick and she tells herself all that is missing from her life is a husband and 2.5 kids. Oh how life would be perfect.

One day, Sally is introduced to Peter. Peter is also established in his career and they find that they have much in common. After dating for several months, the couple gets engaged.

Sally has become so consumed with the wedding planning, that she has little time for anything else. She is in complete bliss and strives for the perfect wedding. She has entered into what I call the fairytale syndrome. She has become so distracted by the romantic idea of a wedding, that she has not noticed some red flags where Peter is concerned.

The wedding and honeymoon have since passed and now the happy couple settles down to a wonderful life together. Peter gets a job promotion which requires frequent travel out of the country. He reasons that with the increase in his salary, Sally should quit her job. She'll have to do that anyway when the kids come, right?

Sally loves her job and she has worked incredibly hard to get to her current position. But she also loves her husband, so she decides in his favor. Besides, they never discussed the fact that she planned to do it all - career AND family. She told herself that if he assumed she would be a stay-at-home mother, well, it was her fault for never mentioning it.

Years later, Sally became, simply, Peter's wife and mother to his kids. She put her life on hold to cater to his whims. His friends became her friends. His hobbies became her hobbies. Heck, she doesn't even like to golf, but how else will she get to spend time with him?

The distance between Sally and Peter had grown. Soon Peter began spending some of his personal time with Tina, a younger female coworker. Peter reasoned again - "You don't like Star Wars anyway, so what's the big deal if she goes with me to the movie theater?" He insisted they were just friends and all Sally could do was trust her husband.