A New Idea for McDonalds: The Mystery Meal

If you've been following the news you know one parent got more than they bargained for when they looked in their child's happy meal. The second toy turned out to be the recreational pharmaceutical known as marijuana. While this might explain why all the employees at the McDonald's I worked at not so long ago were always in a good mood, it leaves me to wonder if this particular restaurant might not have discovered a new strategy to get people to try their product or if it was the result of some corporate directive that might have been hugely successful had the parents not discovered the leafy product.

Now, I'm not saying that illegal drugs should be marketed to children. No one in their right minds wants this to happen. However, there is a vast 18-25 year old market here for a new product. Let's for the sake of discussion call it "the mystery meal." Now the mystery meal will of course offer your standard fast food fare: burgers, French fries, and a soda, but the desert will bring special attention to it. Rather than a toy you get a desert laced with the delightful South American export of your choice. As we cannot encourage smoking, the items required to smoke the consumer's selection cannot be handed out. Only clean and healthy habits like the consumption of greasy foods and sugary soft drinks should be encouraged among the young.

Personally, I do not know how poorly the fast food sector of our economy is growing, but I do not know a single business owner who will tell you there shop or chain could not use a boost. Currently, they're forced to come up with new ways to convince you that the ideas they've tried many times before are really something new since the only thing the greasy spoons have to offer is the speed at which the food arrives. Putting my plan into action will guarantee steady business to whichever restaurant gives the best high but it may mean an entirely new area for those who study addiction medicine to research.