Should You Bring Children to a Funeral?

The following is a list of questions that you should ask yourself when considering whether to have your child attend a funeral with you. If your answer to any of the following questions is no, then you should definitely consider leaving your child with a sitter while you attend the funeral.

Will the deceased's next of kin want children at the funeral?

This is the most important question to consider. Some people enjoy having children at a funeral because it shows the circle of life. A child's presence can bring comfort to some grieving survivors by showing them that life goes on. Others may feel that a happy child's presence is disrespectful in a place of grieving.

Regardless of your views, you should consider the views of those closest to the deceased. It is of the utmost importance to respect their wishes during their time of grieving.

Is your child normally well-behaved in public?

If your child frequently acts out in public, it is probably best to leave him or her with a sitter while you attend the funeral. A funeral is not the time or place for you to be struggling with your child's behavior. Out of respect for yourself and others, you should only bring your child if you think he or she will behave throughout the funeral.

Is your child old enough to understand death?

If your child is too young to have any sort of grasp on death, then your child has little to gain from the experience. Your child will likely not understand how to behave in such an environment. A young toddler may unintentionally act inappropriate. Also, some young children may get frightened if there is an open casket.

An exception to this rule would be infants. If you have a mild-tempered baby, and his or her presence is welcome at the funeral, then by all means, take him or her.

Does your child want to attend the funeral?

A child should never be forced to attend a funeral. If you desire for your child to attend, but he or she wishes not to, you may want to sit down and talk with your child. Let your child tell you why he or she does not wish to attend. You can explain the benefits of attending the funeral, but in the end the decision should be left to your child.