Insensitive Things to Say to the Parents of an Autistic Child

1. Autism? That's good. That means he's smart.
Well, if he is doing third grade math at five but still pooping in his pants, that's not so good. One theory about what causes autism is that the child's brain is so well developed in one area that it takes all the attention away from other areas. And he may not be smart at all; not every autistic child is a savant. He may be severely developmentally disabled. You just don't know what form autism will take.

2. "Kmart sucks," or any other Rain Man joke.
I may find humor in the situation my family is in, but you can't be sure. Maybe I just found out and I'm devastated, or maybe my child was just thrown out of his third daycare and I'm feeling a little despondent. Anyway, Rain Man's case is not representative of all people with autism.

3. He doesn't need to date anyway. His life will be better without women causing him trouble.
I'm facing the possibility of this child being ridiculed and ostracized all the way through school, and this is what you say to comfort me? Besides, not all autistic children grow up to be socially challenged. We just don't know what the future holds, but it's best not to mention worst case scenarios.

4. Can't you keep him quiet? This is a restaurant/church/pick your situation.
No, I can't keep him quiet. Here's my business card that says, "Has autism touched your life?" If this is your first experience with it, count yourself blessed. Excuse me for wanting to leave the house. Maybe our family should just isolate ourselves so you can feel more comfortable. I'm sure you've never seen a neurotypical child behave badly.

5. He doesn't look disabled. Why do you get to skip to the head of the line for the rides?
Well, until you started talking, you didn't look like an insensitive moron. Believe me, I would trade the autism for having to stand in that long line.

6. My cousin's brother's hairdresser's child has autism.
Tell them hi from me. I'm sure we have so much in common. Are you trying to tell me that you know how I feel, or that it's okay that my kid is messed up?