How to Drive a Burglar Crazy

Don't Get Angry, Get Even

Have you ever wanted to take revenge on burglars, who would break into your house and steal your most personal and valuable possessions? Just entering your home and going through your drawers, closets and hiding places makes you feel violated. Well, it's get even time! Let's drive the burglar crazy. With these techniques he will turn himself into the municipal police or a local sanitarium. Here are my recommendations for revenge.

1- Buy two fake rocks that they sell in dollar stores to hide your keys. Every burglar worth his salt knows exactly what these look like. Put one in your garden near your front door and the second in your yard near your back door. However, get two keys from a secondhand shop which absolutely won't fit any of your locks. Put these keys in the hide-key-rocks. The burglar will spend a fairly long time trying to open your door with the key. They will get frustrated and go to all the doors, garages and sliding glass doors around your house just trying these keys. In his travels he may find the second bogus rock and get even more frustrated and waste more time. Remember the longer you delay the burglar outside the more likely he will be spotted or just leave out of frustration.

2- Buy a set of those fake looking books which are made to hide your valuables such as cash or jewelry. They open up like a box and they are also well know and easily spotted by your neighborhood burglar. Put the fake book next to the other books in your library. However, instead of cash or valuables, put in an old, worthless paper back novel. One with an ironic name such as "The Treasure Of The Sierra Madres" would be most appropriate. Imagine the frustration with finding a valueless paperback book only inside these hiding spaces.