Religious Heroes

A Comedy Short (Screenplay)

By Jeff Virkus, published May 22, 2007
Published Content: 6  Total Views: 0  Favorited By: 0 CPs
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Rating: 3.0 of 5
EXT. SHOPPING MALL- EVENING

A Toyota Prius pulls into a parking space. JARED HOPKINS, a priest, gets out of the car. An H2 Hummer screeches into the parking lot with its stereo blaring and cigarette smoke pouring out from the windows. The Hummer cuts in front of a 1970's Oldsmobile and parks in a handicap parking spot. A group of skinheads pile out of the Hummer and make their way into the mall. The elderly driver of the Oldsmobile shakes her fist at the Skinheads as they pass her by. Jared gives up his parking spot to her. As he backs out of the spot, a low-rider Chrysler, with its stereo thumping, slowly cruises into the parking lot and parks in a red zone right in front of the mall entrance. The doors open and marijuana smoke rushes out of the car as a group of gang bangers get out. The driver, X, puts an old parking ticket on his windshield and then makes his way toward the mall with the rest of his gang. Jared helps the elderly driver into the mall.

INT. SHOPPING MALL- EVENING
Jared enters the shopping mall and looks around. He takes a piece of paper from his pocket and looks at it. He proceeds to the music store.

INT. AMOEBA MUSIC STORE - CONTINUOUS
Marilyn Manson's voice wales in the background as Jared enters. He passes by two teenage boys as they play a violent video game. TEENAGE BOY #1 wins and starts taunting TEENAGE BOY #2.

TEENAGE BOY #1
Hah! In your face 'mo 'fo! You suck! Looooo-zer!!!
Teenage Boy #2 snaps and tackles Teenage Boy #1.
Jared continues walking down an aisle of CDs. A scantily-dressed TEENAGE GIRL talks on her cell phone as she browses through the CD's.

TEENAGE GIRL
(on phone)
...Oh, my gosh. She is such a tramp. She's just bitter because I slept with Roger...It's her own fault. If she'd have put out he wouldn't have strayed.

Jared passes by a young boy who discreetly shoves a CD down his pants. Jared gets to the back of the store. Two employees stumble out of the employee break room with a trail of marijuana smoke following behind them.

EMPLOYEE #1
Dude, I told you The Matrix was better stoned.

EMPLOYEE #2
Bro', Keanu should've totally won the oscar for that performance.

EMPLOYEE #1
You should've seen him in Little Buddha. Amazing.

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