Preparing Yourself for Dating Again After a Long-Term Relationship

Things You Should Do Before You Jump Back into the Dating Pool

If someone had told me three years ago that I'd find myself back in the dating world at 35, I'd have said "yeah, and I'm going to sprout wings and fly, too."

My marriage was far from perfect, but it had been the foundation of my entire adult life. I'd met my future husband at 20, when we were both starving college students. We moved in together within months, since it was the easiest way to pay the bills. We married at 25, and called it quits in our mid-30's.

After being out of the dating game practically since I'd left my teenage years behind, getting back out there was both exhilarating and terrifying. There were many occasions along the way where I swore I was done with it, that the aggravation and energy it took just to end up on another bad or going-nowhere date wasn't worth the hassle. But a combination of boredom, curiosity and hope always won out eventually, and I found myself doing it all over again.

Many of us find ourselves facing dating and meeting new people after years in a secure and committed relationship. One of the best things you can do if you find yourself in this situation is to remember that you're a bit rusty, and spend some time preparing yourself for the experience BEFORE you start dating again.

You may be so anxious to test your wings and get back out there that you can hardly wait. Or you may be considering life as the crazy cat lady or the unwashed hermit guy just to avoid having to go through it all again. Whichever camp you fall in, take some time to do the following before you put up that online profile, ask out that cute chick in the bar, or give that guy whose been dropping hints for a while your phone number.

Practice Flirting

When you've been in a stable relationship forever, flirting often falls by the wayside. That's unfortunate, because maybe some of those long-term relationships would have lasted even longer if we'd kept the art of flirting with each other alive. But it's also a reality.