Getting HIV Isn't a Death Sentence

A Beginner's Guide to Avoid Freaking Out

You just got home from your doctor, your local sex clinic and you're still reeling. You will for a while. You're HIV Positive. Let's face it; it sucks to have HIV even today. I hate taking pills - even though there's only three HIV pills a day, they do have side effects, for me mostly gastrointestinal ones. I hate that there are still people who look at me as a pariah even though they are an ignorant minority. I hate that being HIV positive is still an invisible minority in this country - fear keeps too many people outside the big cities closeted. Even those brave enough to have come out in hostile environments as gay wouldn't take that next step to come out as HIV positive.

I just commemorated two years since my doctor told me that I tested positive for HIV. I accept responsibility for my actions that caused this to happen. More than anything, it is imperative that you do whatever it is you need to do to accept what it is you did to test HIV positive. Even if it was trusting a cheating partner, you have to ask yourself difficult questions about what inside you may have caused you to trust someone who may not have deserved that trust.

But accepting responsibility and torturing yourself with guilt are two different things. You have to accept your role only so you can let go of any lingering anger. Everyone engages in self-destructive behavior in their life to varying degrees. Acceptance brings forgiveness - and forgiveness is essential to learning how to live going forward with the disease.

If you are having trouble accepting it or moving past the anger and depression, don't be proud - the mental health industry can help. Psychologists and social workers provide therapy. If need be, psychiatrists can provide anti-depressants or anti-anxiety medications. There is no shame in asking for help.

When it comes to HIV, there are lots of places to seek both physical and mental help. Seek out your city's local AIDs agency - if you don't know who that is, call the National AIDs Hotline at 1-800-CDC-INFO (1-800-232-4636). They take calls 24/7 and should be able to tell you the agencies serving your city.