Some Peculiar Predictions for 2010

1. Edible pets—

The recent trend in designer dog hybrids will segue into even more specialized realms of pets. For a consumer who is having difficulty deciding between a dog and a cat, now she won't have to. New inter-species breeding will combine the cuteness of a hybrid dog with the sleekness of a hairless cat in such fashionable designs as the Maltipoo-Pussy. Labradoodles and puggles will soon be passé, but if you do desire a canine of two breeds, then stay au courant by adding a new pet skill set to the mix—edibility. First you play with your Labrasnickerdoodle, then you enjoy it as a tasty snack; this is forced obsolescence at its best. No need to bathe your Gingerbread Puggle, unless you wish to dip it in a glass of skim milk.

2. Rogue taxidermy meets extreme makeover reality TV—

If you're still waiting for your old-school pet to phase itself out, keep in mind that you'll have the chance to express yourself with futuristic flair soon. Have you heard of rogue taxidermy, a burgeoning art form in which obsolete animal parts are fashioned and fused into stylish new entities? Well, once your traditional pet meets its maker, you can introduce it to a new maker, who will style it into an alternative piece of art that you can wear, sit on, or simply display. If you can't wait that long or if economic hardship is making it difficult for you to maintain your pet in its current state, then you might consider selling it to a new reality TV show, in which taxidermied pets are made to compete with each other in a sort of bizarre extreme makeover slash beauty pageant slash dog show of sorts. Will the standard poodle with implants win? Tune in for the newest scoops.

3. Ghosts in Crisis—