The Case Against Adoption: Research and Alternatives for Concerned Citizens

By Jessica DelBalzo, published May 31, 2007
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I wear many labels. I am a mother, a lover, and a friend. I am a breastfeeder, a homeschooler, and an instinctive parent. I am an atheist, an advocate of reproductive freedom, and a liberal. I am also an anti-adoption activist.

That last label has been the source of much confusion, concern, and even negativity from friends and strangers alike. Most people have had no reason to question the ethics of adoption, and so they assume it to be a benevolent institution. For the average person, the anti-adoption movement is unfathomable, comparable to a movement against puppies or rainbows or ice cream. Even so, I am not ashamed to say that I believe adoption is not only unnecessary but also unethical.

My Story

When people discover that I am against adoption, they often assume that I am adopted. I am not, nor have I lost a child to adoption. In fact, I grew up believing that adoption was perfectly acceptable. When my parents were unable to conceive a second child, my young self even threatened to adopt one so that we could have a baby in the house. By the time I reached high school age, however, I had begun questioning more serious issues and forming deeper opinions. One of my elective classes involved frequent debates, and one particular discussion on the ethics of abortion and the "loving option" of adoption sparked my curiosity. Instinctually, adoption suddenly felt like a tragic loss for both the mother and the child, and I began researching the subject voraciously using the library to obtain relevant books and the internet to connect with people who had personal adoption experiences.

Everything that I learned further inspired my activism, and after graduation I founded Adoption: Legalized Lies, a grassroots organization supporting family preservation and the abolition of adoption. In the past nine years, we have participated in awareness-raising campaigns, art displays, rallies, and letter-writing. We have also assisted numerous families who were struggling to keep their children despite interference from the adoption industry.

Yes, Adoption is an Industry

 
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The Case Against Adoption: Research and Alternatives for Concerned Citizens

Rylie Kukal, the daughter of anti-adoption activist and author Jessica DelBalzo, holds a protest sign outside Lincoln Center's "Gala Concert for Adoption," April 11, 2007.

Credit: Jessica DelBalzo

Copyright: Jessica DelBalzo

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So if bio-parents were molesting there bio-children, would it be wrong to place the children in a safe, alternative home.? Love is love. If an adopted mother loves her adopted child, sometimes that is more then bio parents have to offer....

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Posted on 07/05/2008 at 9:07:01 AM

 
Say what you want but please don't attack anyone. There is always two sides to the story. Think outside the box. I personally believe in adpotion but she has alot of really good points.

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Posted on 07/01/2008 at 11:07:40 PM

 
You are so wrong!! Do you even know how many lives adoption saves!! I was adopted and could not ask for better parents!! This is such a good option for mothers who cannot take care of their child!! I think that you did your research all wrong!! Maybe you should research this subject again before you go running your mouth about something you know nothing about! Maybe you should talk to some children who were adopted, some mothers who put their children up for adoption, and parents who adopted their children and see what they think!! They know from experience! You don't!!!!

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Posted on 06/05/2008 at 4:06:26 PM

 
I am very pro-adoption for children who are never going to go back home and are stuck in the foster care system or are wards of the state. But after reading your article (which at first I did not like) I understand and agree with where you are coming from. Giving respect to the childs situation should be the most important thing and respecting that you are not their parent but could be a loving guardian that might end up having a very loving and close relationship with them should you treat them with respect and understanding(and a multitude of other beneficial things) is a much better approach. A++++ for seeing it through a childs eyes, a very interesting argument.

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Posted on 06/01/2008 at 9:06:42 PM

 
I think your problem is that you are soooo pro-abortion that you need to pick apart the argument "Adoption-the better option". Maybe it would be best if these children were just terminated in utero? Is this the conclusion?

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Posted on 05/09/2008 at 10:05:01 AM

 
What an absolute load of crap. Is this a joke? The writing is so poor and so ignorant that it was hard to find the strength to click to the next screen. My daughter knows everything (except for the drug abuse and criminal histories of her bioparents) about her bio-parents, photos, names, her original name, and she's only 7. Everything is a business in America, everything we buy makes someone else rich. Get off your high horse and spend some time in reality. I will never check this site again, I'm disappointed I did.

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Posted on 05/06/2008 at 2:05:43 PM

 
wow, what is your problem

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Posted on 05/02/2008 at 5:05:47 PM

 
This article is poorly written, researched and so full of logical fallacies. I cannot understand how someone could think that abortion is ethical but adoption is not. I am a birthmother, I personally know other birthmothers. We are not traumatized, we are not stupid, we were not coerced. I'm so baffled by this article.

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Posted on 04/07/2008 at 10:04:39 AM

 
I was adopted. This article was a disgusting represtation of bad writing and poor research. There was no thought given to how hurtful something like this is for the tens of thousands of us who were adopted. It's a shame that some people experience psychological problems following an adoption - on both sides, the biological parents and the adopted child. However, you cannot say with any certainty that the adopted child would've fared any better with his/her biological parents. If the biological parents are prone to depression anyway, I would think that being forced to raise a child for which they were not prepared would be far more psychologically damaging. It would be hurtful for the child to know that he was unplanned, a mistake, and a burden. And you need to correct your daughter's sign in the picture. Adoption doesn't hurt babies. Shaken baby syndrome hurts babies. Painful diaper rashes hurt babies. German measles hurts babies. Adoption saves lives. Good to see you'r

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Posted on 03/16/2008 at 2:03:12 AM

 
As a member of the maligned social work profession, I think this article is rather short sighted. Legal guardianship is NOT the answer for children, as they would not have the same rights that adopted children do to serve as medical decision makers for their caretakers, to inherit property, to have the same protections under the law. We do have legal guardianship as a part of the adoption process through social service agencies, and it's not nearly the same as adoption. The "Baby Scoop" era is a dark chapter of the history of adoption, just as the Orhpan Trains in the 1890s weren't always a perfect system. But it doesn't mean that all adoptions are bad. I also would encourage the author to look again at her statistics and sources about residential treatment, because I have worked in residential treatment for adolescents and inpatiet hospitals for adults for a number of years, and do not see adopted clients as a disproportionate part of my caseload. What I do see are abused, neglected

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Posted on 03/15/2008 at 1:03:58 PM

 
I don't see how it would be so much better to have been murdered before birth than to deal with problems of being adopted. The article speaks of women who don't have the option of abortion due to spiritual belief. Yes the best thing for most is an intact and supported family, mother with children, but abortion is not a better option than adoption in my very strong opinion.

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Posted on 03/04/2008 at 3:03:23 PM

 
As a birth mother who has experienced 33 years of horrific anguish and pain at the loss of my son through adoption I full heartedly agree with the viewpoint in this article. Yes there are always exceptions to the general rule - abused children, foreign adoption of orphans and so on, but the majority of adoptions that occurred in the 60,s 70,s and beyond involved young vulnerable women who were given no choice, no assistance and absolutely no information on the long term negative effects on both the child and themselves. They were fed a myth that the adoption was best for the child, which it was not. It is never okay to take a newborn from a loving mother, give it to strangers and leave her without any access to information for the rest of her life. I was given no choice - no alternatives and faced being banished from my own family if I chose to keep my son. It was a permanent solution to a temporary problem. Four years later I married and had a daughter hoping to replace the child I l

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Posted on 02/15/2008 at 9:02:48 PM

 
As a birth mother who has experienced 33 years of horrific anguish and pain at the loss of my son through adoption I full heartedly agree with the viewpoint in this article. Yes there are always exceptions to the general rule - abused children, foreign adoption of orphans and so on, but the majority of adoptions that occurred in the 60,s 70,s and beyond involved young vulnerable women who were given no choice, no assistance and absolutely no information on the long term negative effects on both the child and themselves. They were fed a myth that the adoption was best for the child, which it was not. It is never okay to take a newborn from a loving mother, give it to strangers and leave her without any access to information for the rest of her life. I was given no choice - no alternatives and faced being banished from my own family if I chose to keep my son. It was a permanent solution to a temporary problem. Four years later I married and had a daughter hoping to replace the child I l

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Posted on 02/15/2008 at 9:02:17 PM

 
As a birth mother who has experienced 33 years of horrific anguish and pain at the loss of my son through adoption I full heartedly agree with the viewpoint in this article. Yes there are always exceptions to the general rule - abused children, foreign adoption of orphans and so on, but the majority of adoptions that occurred in the 60,s 70,s and beyond involved young vulnerable women who were given no choice, no assistance and absolutely no information on the long term negative effects on both the child and themselves. They were fed a myth that the adoption was best for the child, which it was not. It is never okay to take a newborn from a loving mother, give it to strangers and leave her without any access to information for the rest of her life. I was given no choice - no alternatives and faced being banished from my own family if I chose to keep my son. It was a permanent solution to a temporary problem. Four years later I married and had a daughter hoping to replace the child I l

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Posted on 02/15/2008 at 9:02:16 PM

 
Ms. DelBalzo is herself a mother. Somehow, I doubt she'd be ok giving up that title to prove that she only has her child's best interest in heart - yet she suggests that those of us who can't concieve (or who know for a fact that there are thousands of unloved, uncared for or unwanted children in the world and choose to take steps to rectify that problem) don't deserve the same title or place in a child's heart. Again, as an adopted person, I'm insulted that someone would want to tell me that the woman who adopted me isn't my mother and as someone seeking to adopt I dare someone to tell me that I can't be as loving and protective as a birth mother.

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Posted on 01/18/2008 at 11:01:20 PM

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