Rylie Kukal, the daughter of anti-adoption activist and author Jessica DelBalzo, holds a protest...
Credit: Jessica DelBalzo | ©Jessica DelBalzo
The Case Against Adoption: Research and Alternatives for Concerned Citizens
I wear many labels. I am a mother, a lover, and a friend. I am a breastfeeder, a homeschooler, and an instinctive parent. I am an atheist, an advocate of reproductive freedom, and a liberal. I am also an anti-adoption activist.
That last label has been the source of much confusion, concern, and even negativity from friends and strangers alike. Most people have had no reason to question the ethics of adoption, and so they assume it to be a benevolent institution. For the average person, the anti-adoption movement is unfathomable, comparable to a movement against puppies or rainbows or ice cream. Even so, I am not ashamed to say that I believe adoption is not only unnecessary but also unethical.
My Story
When people discover that I am against adoption, they often assume that I am adopted. I am not, nor have I lost a child to adoption. In fact, I grew up believing that adoption was perfectly acceptable. When my parents were unable to conceive a second child, my young self even threatened to adopt one so that we could have a baby in the house. By the time I reached high school age, however, I had begun questioning more serious issues and forming deeper opinions. One of my elective classes involved frequent debates, and one particular discussion on the ethics of abortion and the "loving option" of adoption sparked my curiosity. Instinctually, adoption suddenly felt like a tragic loss for both the mother and the child, and I began researching the subject voraciously using the library to obtain relevant books and the internet to connect with people who had personal adoption experiences.
Everything that I learned further inspired my activism, and after graduation I founded Adoption: Legalized Lies, a grassroots organization supporting family preservation and the abolition of adoption. In the past nine years, we have participated in awareness-raising campaigns, art displays, rallies, and letter-writing. We have also assisted numerous families who were struggling to keep their children despite interference from the adoption industry.
Yes, Adoption is an Industry
That last label has been the source of much confusion, concern, and even negativity from friends and strangers alike. Most people have had no reason to question the ethics of adoption, and so they assume it to be a benevolent institution. For the average person, the anti-adoption movement is unfathomable, comparable to a movement against puppies or rainbows or ice cream. Even so, I am not ashamed to say that I believe adoption is not only unnecessary but also unethical.
My Story
When people discover that I am against adoption, they often assume that I am adopted. I am not, nor have I lost a child to adoption. In fact, I grew up believing that adoption was perfectly acceptable. When my parents were unable to conceive a second child, my young self even threatened to adopt one so that we could have a baby in the house. By the time I reached high school age, however, I had begun questioning more serious issues and forming deeper opinions. One of my elective classes involved frequent debates, and one particular discussion on the ethics of abortion and the "loving option" of adoption sparked my curiosity. Instinctually, adoption suddenly felt like a tragic loss for both the mother and the child, and I began researching the subject voraciously using the library to obtain relevant books and the internet to connect with people who had personal adoption experiences.
Everything that I learned further inspired my activism, and after graduation I founded Adoption: Legalized Lies, a grassroots organization supporting family preservation and the abolition of adoption. In the past nine years, we have participated in awareness-raising campaigns, art displays, rallies, and letter-writing. We have also assisted numerous families who were struggling to keep their children despite interference from the adoption industry.
Yes, Adoption is an Industry
Comments
JP
(Guest)
(Guest)
01/07/2010
The author believes biological reproduction is a fundamental right without any responsibility towards the child. She is utterly wrong.
Biological children are not your property, even though it is clear you treat your child as she is your own personal property to be manipulated as you see fit. I'm sure you will be in for a big surprise when she is a teen.
JP
(Guest)
(Guest)
01/07/2010
Let me guess - You had an abortion.
Your passionate hatred of adoption clearly exposes your lack of education and ignorance about adoption and foster care. Your ideas are utterly stupid and grounded on falsified claims.
Are you also a member of the Nazi party? They hated adoption too.
Chrissy
(Guest)
(Guest)
12/09/2009
If you are a Christian the bible says to not hate your neighbor but to love that person and thats right only God can judge.
Payge
(Guest)
(Guest)
12/07/2009
biological father. My step-father did it for the best of my family. This is my personal opinion so you guys go ahead and brainwash others of thinking adoption ruins lives cause all your doing is lying to yourself and others.!
Payge (continued)
(Guest)
(Guest)
12/07/2009
I would also like to point out that i am an only child and my mother cant have any more kids. I would have loved to grow up with a sibling whom i could look up to. I would have given anything to have that and now im giving other children the experience i never had. My mother always wanted to have more kids, she had 7 miscarriages and it broke her heart knowing that she couldn't give me another sibling. Then she looked into fostering to adopt. I had never seen my mother so happy until we got 2 african american children who went into foster care. We had them for over a year and then they went back to their birthmother. To this day we still get to see them , its not like the children get taken away for life. At age 18 they can find out who their birthmother is if they wanted, its up to them. I wouldnt understand why though because obviously their parents didnt put forth the effort to care and try and get their kids back. Me myself am adopted by my step-father and i still talk to my biolog
Payge
(Guest)
(Guest)
12/07/2009
I think adoption and fostering saves so many lives. my parents are fostering to adopt and we have taken in so many kids who need help and we have helped them as much as we could. They come with just the clothes on their back and leave with so much more. So whoever is against adoption and fostering please plaese help me understand why cause parents lose their kids for a reason. Maybe you should read "A Child Called It" By Dave Pelzer and maybe get a reality check.
Thanks.
Happily Adopted
(Guest)
(Guest)
12/02/2009
I'm happily adopted and my story isn't unique. I wish people would butt out of my life and stop telling me that adoption is wrong. It was brilliant for me and many others that I know. Yes, there may be people out there who have found a way to blame their life problems on their adoption but not everyone. Birth Mothers? I'm sorry for your problems but they aren't mine. You can't have your cake and eat it. Whatever reason you "lost" your child, it isn't that adopted childs problem. Don't make it that way. My life is just fine, I don't need someone who calls themselves my "Birth Mother" in my life.
If you aren't adopted, haven't adopted a child and haven't relinquished a child then butt out.
Oh, and get your facts straight too. I haven't had a life of crime or drug and alcohol abuse.
ihate atheists
(Guest)
(Guest)
11/11/2009
i find it funny how your liberal and a atehist, i dont care what you think because 1. obama sucks 2. when god comes this argument wont matter
Julie
(Guest)
(Guest)
09/30/2009
It's people like you and your followers who promote the fantasy of 16 year-old children raising children, or the fact that a huge percentage of abortion is for "social" reasons, and the general public's misconception of adoption as a negative thing.
As an adopted child, now an adult, I can say with utter conviction that while my relationship with my adoptive parents may be less than perfect, I consider adoption to be the ultimate gift of love. It shows an unselfishness on the birth mother's part to willingly carry and nurture a child for 9 months and have the clarity of mind to present he or she with a life full of opportunities she cannot provide. It is also miraculous that there are parents (among whom I hope to be counted someday) who lovingly accept a child into their hearts and homes and raise them as "their own".
It is mind-blowing to me that there are people like yourself who can't see that. I personally hope your mission never gets fulfilled.
Sincerely,
Julie Levenhage
Rob
(Guest)
(Guest)
09/27/2009
Regarding my "the rate of adoption skyrocketed by 950%!" comment; No those were not war orphans. And the rate has grown steadily upward since then.
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