Women & Dating Etiquette: Who Will Pay for the First Date?

If you are ready to go on a date today, then the odds are very good that you are an emancipated woman who is not afraid to say what she means, and means what she says. Of course, with such societal advances also come some of the dicey questions that center around good manners, such as "should there be a kiss or handshake at the end of a date" or "who should pay for the date?" While the former can only be decided by you and your date when the time is right, the latter does have some foundations in the inerrant and timeless teachings of Ms. Manners.

When it comes to paying at the end of a date, you have to make one of three choices: reach for your calculator, reach for the bill, or pretend you do not see the bill on the table. Old-fashioned waiters will put the bill down in front of the gentleman, while seasoned waiters know that it could go either way and instead place it in no-man's territory in between you and your date.

While in the scheme of things the idea of who pays the bill does very little to validate your date's opinion of you, it does influence the last impression your date will have of you, and just like a first impression, a last impression is just as lasting. Here are some tips for those on a first date who find themselves in the "who pays" quandary.

1. If you were the person who suggested the restaurant, then you should also be the person who pays the bill. Keep in mind that your date might have suggested something less expensive had it not been for your urging. Thus, you should err on the side of caution, and not potentially embarrass him by having to pay a bill he cannot afford.

2. If during the date it turns out that you are the well to do partner in a law firm, while your date is a freelance artist who paints murals in his spare time, but works at the local coffee shop to eke out a living that will keep the gas lit and the phone working, then you should be the one reaching for the bill, no matter who decided to go the restaurant. Make it playful by perhaps winking and suggesting this way a ploy to get him to take you for dessert. This will allow your date to save face.