"Poofing" - An Online Dating Phenomenon

Where Did He Go?

You meet someone online, begin talking through email, maybe you exchange instant messenger information or even phone numbers. Things are going well. You are in contact regularly; maybe you even meet. Then one day, out of nowhere, "poof!" Your new friend just disappears without explanation. Where did he go?

One possibility is that someone else came along who captured his interest. With millions of people on dating sites these days, there is increased competition. Any moment someone new could send an email or upload a profile that catches the attention of your current interest. Now, one would think that your guy would simply have even common courtesy to let you know that he is interested in someone else. Sadly, because of online dating's built in anonymity, it's very easy for someone to just vanish into thin air, and it seems to have created a lack of common manners.

Another reason for the vanishing act could be that your guy may be married or in a relationship. Unfortunately, it is just as easy for someone in a relationship to create an online profile as it is for singles. If he is indeed married or involved, he may very simply have gotten caught. According to The Dating Tipster, a dating advice column, one out of three people on dating sites is married. One third! Though some of them continue to talk to and meet people or even have affairs with those they meet online, many realize they can only carry their deception to a certain point.

Unscrupulous pay sites have also been known to create fake profiles designed to capture your attention. This is done to entice you into buying a membership to their site. Many sites have a free trial period at the end of which you will need to purchase a membership in order to talk to potential mates. Shortly before the end of your trial period, they contact you via one of these fake profiles and try to obtain your interest hoping you will buy a membership in order to meet the person behind the profile.