Dating After Divorce

The divorce rate has been steadily climbing for the last fifteen years, and it shows no sign of decreasing. There are several reasons for the dissolution of marriage, but one thing remains common among them all: two people were unable to work out their differences.

If you have been through a divorce, you might be overly cautious about reentering the dating game, and you might be concerned about potential ramifications. The most important thing to remember is that you aren’t alone in your fears, and that it’s natural to be “gun-shy” about getting back on the horse. Negative experiences are naturally inhibiting, and there is nothing wrong about your concerns.

This doesn’t mean that you should avoid dating entirely, or that you should resign yourself to the nunnery for the rest of your days. It’s natural to take time off from the dating game to reflect upon your experience and to determine the new direction for your life, but eventually, you’ll begin to crave human contact.

Follow these guidelines for dating after divorce, and you’ll be more inclined to experience success. Reading this article doesn’t mean you’ll immediately find a second marriage partner, but it will help you gain perspective on dating in general.

1. Give yourself adequate time.

If your marriage was finalized yesterday and you’re hitting the clubs tonight, then you’re probably jumping in too quickly. If you want to go out for drinks with your friends, then you should, but don’t start looking for a new Mrs. or Mr. right away. You’ll need time to emotionally and mentally process your divorce and to gain perspective on the road ahead.

There isn’t a specific time that is necessary to wait. Everyone is different, and I wouldn’t presume to advise you on the length of time between divorce and first date. Your body will tell you when you are emotionally capable of handling a date with a new person, and when you are comfortable enough with yourself to pursue a new relationship.