Attachment Parenting Older Children: The Family Bed

Practicing attachment parenting generally leads to a great deal of research. In addition to simply wanting to be well educated about my parenting choices, I've found myself researching parenting topics regularly for many reasons. Family and friends tend to come to me for advice and information because they know I'll find the most accurate availible. This led me to further research in college, focusing most of my electives in psychology and education. You'd be surprised how much a thorough knowledge of such topics helps in political advocacy, as well.

A family bed is one where the parents welcome their children to sleep in the parental bed. Outside of the United States, this is a common practice. Often, children don't even have their own beds as the family shares sleeping accommodations. Sometimes, all the males will sleep in one bed, all the females and babies in another. Sometimes, the children will all sleep in the same bed as Mom, and Dad will sleep in his own bed.

The details vary, but the basic premise is the same. A family is a unit, not a group of individuals. Children are part of a family, not just being cared for by their parents. It's a much more fluid and connected concept than mainstream America promotes.

They may not talk about it often but most American families actually have family beds to some degree. Some families do insist that children sleep in their own beds every night, no matter what. Most parents at least allow their children to join them when they have nightmares. Many allow them to whenever they like. Some parents even encourage their children to join them at night.

PRO

Bonding

There are some simple and obvious benefits to a family bed. If a hug from Mom or Dad promotes feelings of trust, certainly spending the night being held by them will increase that bond. Most adults prefer sleeping in the arms of someone that loves them. Children deserve that same comfort, and will have a closer bond with their parents and siblings for it.

Simplicity